Contrary to the title of this post, it will not be about Trump’s answer to himself in the mirror, asking “Can I wipe out all GOP congressmen who don’t suck up to me?” Instead, this post is about the death of a beloved American phrase, “You’re welcome.”
With the exception of the recent revival of the phrase, as sung by Maui in the film “Moana,” “You’re welcome” is now as rare as presidential civility. It has, instead, been replaced by the phrase “No problem.”
Not to split hairs, here, but Life in the Boomer Lane will now split hairs. As she understands the two phrases:
“You’re welcome” is a way of saying “The service I have just provided you or the action I have undertaken on your behalf is something I would do for you again and again.”
An example would be a salesperson handing a customer a purchase. The customer says “Thank you,” and the salesperson responds “You’re welcome.” In other words, you can keep returning to the store until your credit card is maxed out, and you could expect exactly the same level of service.
“No problem” is different. Very, very different. “No problem” implies that something out-of-the-ordinary has been done (or that someone has gone that extra mile), generally something that has caused someone else inconvenience of some kind. It’s a way to minimize your rude or inconvenient behavior. It does not imply that they would welcome such action in the future.
An example would be your calling someone really early in the morning and waking them up. You might say, “Oh, I woke you!” when you realized they had dropped the phone and then, when they picked it up, were speaking in a whispery, garbled way when they answered. They might say “No problem,” as a way of alleviating your guilt. But it does not mean that they would be so kind in the future.
LBL now presents a handy guide for readers to know when to use either “You’re welcome” or “No problem:”
“Thanks, doctor, for delivering my baby!” “You’re welcome.”
“Thanks, UPS Man, for delivering my baby when you came to my door with a package and saw that I was in labor!” “No problem.”
“Thanks, Waitress, for such great service.” “You’re welcome.”
“Thanks Waitress, for cleaning up the entire floor of the restaurant, after my children spilled all of their drinks, dropped their grilled cheese sandwiches and then stepped on them, and opened all the little containers of maple syrup and jelly.” “No problem.”
“Thanks, Tech Support, for resolving my cell phone issue.” “You’re welcome.”
“Thanks Tech Support, for listening patiently while I screamed at you about all of my issues with this cell phone.” “No problem.”
“Thanks, Fellow Motorist, for slowing down and allowing me to get into the lane I needed to get into.” “You’re welcome.”
“Thanks, Fellow Motorist, for being a complete dick and not letting me get into the lane I needed, so that I ended up missing my turn off.” “Fuck you.”
Life in the Boomer Lane 
Shelley
October 25, 2017
I just had to share this on facebook. You’re welcome.
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 26, 2017
Haha. And thank you!!
Kate Crimmins
October 25, 2017
I hate “no problem.” It sounds like mama never taught manners.
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 26, 2017
I know others would disagree, but I feel the same way. Makes my dainty white gloves itch.
mercyn620
October 25, 2017
I guess some response is better than no response at all!? Then I wonder if anyone heard what I said.
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 26, 2017
Yes, you have a point there. I just mourn the gradual demise of the English language.
Donna Cameron
October 25, 2017
Some years ago, everyone in our office came to an agreement that we would not say to clients, customers, or anyone else, the lazy term, “No problem,” or its sister phrase, “No worries.” “You’re welcome” seemed at times too formal and school-marm-ish. What we ended up saying, more often than not in response to proffered thanks, was “My pleasure,” or “It’s a pleasure,” or even “It’s a privilege.” Wow, did that make a difference in attitude and energy!
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 26, 2017
Donna, I LOVE this. I might try it. Or actually, I will most likely forget what you said, by the time I’d get into a situation in which someone thanks me for something.
realestatehomepro
October 25, 2017
You’re right, but this is one I choose to let go. I had dinner with a friend awhile ago. The waiter refilled her water glass and when she said thank you, he responded with “no problem”. Well, you would have thought he had called her some awful name or was incredibly rude. The whole meal was ruined because my friend went on and on and on and on about how rude the waiter was, and letting him know as well.
“Your welcome” might have been welcome but “no problem” has become an adequate substitute among Gen X-ers and Millennials and us old folks should just get over it. If that is the worst thing we face, we should consider ourselves as havin’ a pretty good day.
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 26, 2017
I, as a card-carrying Old Person, am choosing to stand firm in my judgement. My boobs have departed their usual position on my body, my eyes do strange things with headlights of oncoming cars, and brain and skeletal system are no longer in sync. All that remains intact is my judgement.
realestatehomepro
October 26, 2017
Of course it is. But…if it wasn’t…how would you know?
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 26, 2017
Good point.
Taswegian1957
October 25, 2017
“No worries” is one we use a lot here and I had never particularly thought of it as rude. Perhaps I listen more to the tone of the speaker. On a side note my sister told me that once when she was in Singapore she was speaking to another tourist, sorry I can’t recall the circumstances, anyway she said “No worries” at the end of the conversation and the other person was delighted. “Australians really do say that!” so I guess it is a matter of attitude.
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 26, 2017
You have a point. Now I will tell people that their “No problem” response is only acceptable in Austrailia.
Retirementallychallenged.com
October 25, 2017
Actually, I think that “You’re welcome” is the correct response to all of those scenarios… except the last one. “I’m sorry I was a dick” is the correct response for that one, but good luck with that.
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 26, 2017
Yes, “You’re welcome” is, indeed, the correct response for all. But, alas, if I had totally eliminated any use of “No pronblem,” my post would have been way more boring. The “I’m sorry I was a dick,” issue, on the other hand, is a toughie. I’m still waiting for Trump to utter that statement.
patread517
October 25, 2017
I have to admit this has been a pet peeve of mine for ages! A pitfall of loving grammar I suppose. I was in a nice restaurant in 2011 when I heard “It is my pleasure” for the first time, said with real graciousness. It knocked my socks off! I now say that every time it fits for me. People always light up.
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 26, 2017
Ah, life would be so different if people responded like that, right? Would that work if someone stepped in line ahead of you and you said, “Hey, Rude Person, you just cut in line” and they responded, “It was my pleasure.”?
Trumbly, Madly, Deeply
October 27, 2017
I have recently started interspersing “you’re welcome” with “ my pleasure”. I do occasionally use “no worries” but only in response to an apology. Up here in the UP you are as likely to revive a sour “yup” in response to “thank you” as anything else and it really grates on me. I’d rather have no response.
I’m glad I am not the only one lamenting the loss!
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 30, 2017
I do wish “My pleasure” would make a comeback. Ah, TMD, I am lamenting the loss of so much, lately. Starting with “You’re welcome” seemed preferable to things that now cause my head to spin off into oblivion.
Ilona Elliott
October 31, 2017
Well I’m guilty as charged, but never considered it a lazy or rude response. But I’m pretty laid back, maybe too much so? At any rate, I guess I’ll think about it next time LBL. I feel like I’ve just been spanked by a whole lot of my peers. But I still won’t be offended by it if someone responds that way to me. I certainly never meant anything less than “your welcome” by it, and I’ve used “my pleasure” often so I’m not gonna wash my mouth out with soap after all, lol.