
Life in the Boomer Lane must write this blog post quickly, as she has just received an alert in her Inbox, shrieking “Hurry! This underwear deal expires soon!” She is quite anxious to read what this is all about, as, coincidently, she has an appointment today for a bra fitting at a very upscale bra emporium. She suspects that whatever underwear deals will be revealed in the email will be way more favorably priced than what she encounters this afternoon from the upscale bra fitters at the upscale emporium. But she trusts that the upscale bras in the upscale bra emporium will tout levers and pulleys discreetly hidden beneath cleverly applied lace panels.
She is also hopeful that the construction of the upscale bras in the upscale bra emporium will hide the several pounds she added to her frame on the vacation she just completed. In sum, these bras will make her thinner, taller and better able to understand why the 35% of people who still think Trump is doing a good job, still think he is.
The price of her bras keeps going up. There is something inherently unfair about this, as, along with this phenomenon, fewer men ogle her. Or, perhaps, they are ogling her in a less obvious way, in deference to her advanced age. LBL must make a note to tell these men that they are permitted to ogle in more obvious ways.
Back to the post at hand, which has nothing to do with bras. The bra thing was a tangent, compliments of her brain. LBL is convinced that, after her demise, if anyone examined her brain, it would be found that it was composed entirely of two items: tangents and the ability to sing “See You in September” backward. Loyal readers gain in being continually forced to go along on the tangent ride. The “See You in September” thing is a bonus.
LBL will now force herself to get back to the topic at hand:
LBL noticed the ill-fitting state of her bras as she started packing for her upcoming trip to Turkey. There is something distasteful to her about wearing inferior bras in a country far from home. She also isn’t clear about why it matters more to her to appear perky in said country than it does to appear perky on home turf. But this need to be perky once she crosses the US border is real. And it is expensive.
New bras are but one pre-trip expense she is incurring. She has had a mani-pedi, and tomorrow she will have a hair trim. She usually cuts her hair herself, but this time around, she has chopped off more on one side than the other and she is hoping the hair cutter will save her from looking like her head is tilted all the time.
She has also had a pair of capris shortened slightly which had just been shortened the week before. It was worth the extra $20 to lop off an additional two inches, as LBL believes that a slightly shorter pant length will make the legs attached to her 4’11” frame appear longer.
What all this is leading up to is that LBL has just plunked down a ridiculous amount of money, and will plunk down more, in order to impress mostly lot of people who will be selling her things. But she will also be aware of the photos that will be taken. As her memory, like the rest of her brain, becomes composed of tangents, LBL has only two ways to know about trips she has taken. One is from Now Husband, who has a steel trap memory about where they stay, what they see, and everything that happens. LBL listens to him and asks, “Did I enjoy it?” and hopes he says “Yes.”
The other is the photos, which LBL develops, puts in albums and looks at every now and then. She marvels at all the good times of her life, like standing in front of the great iconic monuments of Europe, all the while examining the state of her hair, her body, and her clothing. It is, after all is said and done, about the photos. It is especially about the photos when one can detect a good bra underneath.
LBL now apologizes to loyal readers for misleading them. This blog post seems to be, at least in large part, about bras. She leaves you to ruminate on all this, as she, herself, moves on to another mental tangent, specifically how she managed to misplace her Kindle right before a trip.
Krishna KK
September 4, 2017
Nigel Slater dresses leftover turkey up with a sweet-and-sour marinade and a zingy citrus salad, I am you blog lover.. Keep in touch.
Life in the Boomer Lane
September 4, 2017
Ah, I don’t know which is more gratifying: hearing that you love my blog or finding out a way to deal with leftover turkey.
ashirgill
September 4, 2017
Gillr668@gmail.com On 4 Sep 2017 4:54 pm, “Life in the Boomer Lane” wrote: > > Life in the Boomer Lane posted: “Life in the Boomer Lane must write this blog post quickly, as she has just received an alert in her Inbox, shrieking “Hurry! This underwear deal expires soon!” She is quite anxious to read what this is all about, as, coincidently, she has an appointment” >
Life in the Boomer Lane
September 4, 2017
Thanks for reading–
Kate Crimmins
September 4, 2017
There is nothing as uncomfortable as unhappy girls. You start twitching your shoulders to “rearrange” but it never works. Then you grab at the straps to adjust or pull the bottom band which is perilously close to popping over the nipples. BTW the last poll I saw said 25%. It may have been a dream but I’m running with it, hoping that people are leaving the dark side.
Life in the Boomer Lane
September 4, 2017
I will dream about 25% (although I haven’t seen that) and look forward to a continual downhill slide. I’m not sure which is worse, Trump or uncomfortable girls. Both together would be horrific.
ugiridharaprasad
September 4, 2017
Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.
Life in the Boomer Lane
September 4, 2017
Thanks for the reblog!
Andrew Reynolds
September 4, 2017
My ogling days are long over. I remembering doing some ogling in my younger days. Can’t remember why I was doing it. These I try not to do anything that would attract any attention to my oversize frame and greying hair. I’d comment on bras, but my experience has been more in taking them off than putting them on…
Life in the Boomer Lane
September 4, 2017
Well, at least you got the direction right.
Paul from your past at McEnearney Arlington
September 4, 2017
As one of your loyal Male readers-I totally pay attention to every word of “The Adventures of Renee’s Supportive Garments”! I go back as far as the spandex saga for one of your children’s Wedding – Perhaps I feel comfortable in writing this comment since I have shared my “off the beaten Path” thoughts & ideas face to face at Our place of employment – Dear Friend wish many many many more Fun-filled Family Adventures.
I will pray that you have nothing to share with us all about going through security at the Airports!
I will leave you with this advise Dear Renee” – Please Declare to Security that you have metallic support in your garments. GRANDPARENTS WILL ROCK THIS WORLD!
Life in the Boomer Lane
September 4, 2017
Ah Paul, thanks for remaining a loyal reader. I suspect there will be some kind of travel antics to share with people who, for some reason I can’t fathom, read this blog. But I am eternally grateful. At the very least, Trump will continue his inexplicable spewings while I am gone, so there will always be something to write about.. xxoo
daveyone1
September 4, 2017
Reblogged this on World Peace Forum.
Life in the Boomer Lane
September 11, 2017
Thanks for the reblog!
Ilona Elliott
September 6, 2017
Oh my LBL so much to relate to in this post. Glad I’m not the only crazy out here, hehe. I also feel the need to buy new undies and bras when I’m planning on travelling. It’s not like anyone is going to see said garments besides myself and possibly thieves rifling through my lost baggage, who certainly don’t deserve brand new under garments. I know a woman who brings her oldest panties travelling and discards them along the way to make room for souvenirs, but I can’t stand the idea of walking around the worlds loveliest cities with a wedgie because my undies are stretched out beyond hope, lol. Have a great trip, whatever you are wearing under your clothes…or not.
Life in the Boomer Lane
September 11, 2017
Thanks, Ilona. I am gratified that you agree on the importance of great undies when we travel. No matter how travel-worn the rest of me is, I know that somewhere on my body, it’s a fashion show.
Gail Kaufman
September 9, 2017
Vacations are all about the photos, for sure. No matter what’s in the background, my eyes zone in on my attire, my hair and dimensions. Sick I know, but there, I said it.
Life in the Boomer Lane
September 11, 2017
And I am so glad you did. Whever anyone takes a photo of me or one that includes me, and says “Great photo!” I always respond with “I’ll be the judge of that.”
Gail Kaufman
September 11, 2017
And harsh judges of ourselves we are indeed.
Alan Biné
September 10, 2017
I felt guilty reading this blog about bras. Perhaps I should feel even more guilty thinking about what bras cover. However, I feel quite fortunate I’ve never had to wear such a contraption. It’s bad enough when a guy has to wear a tie. Thank God I no longer have to wear anything I’d rather not wear. Being retired is pretty terrific.
Life in the Boomer Lane
September 11, 2017
Thanks for your comments, Alan. It’s an unfortunate fact of life that as we reach a certain age, men have the luxury of tossing ties aside. But, alas, women need their bras more than ever.