A Short Phone Conversation Between Donald Trump and Sarah Palin

T: (answering phone)Trump here. You’re hired. You’re fired. You’re fucked, unless you’re me.

P: Donald?

T: Yeah, so what? Tell me something I didn’t know.

P: This is Sarah, Sarah Palin?

T: Hey Sarah, how’re they hangin’?

P: I’m calling you because I read that you are sliding in the polls.

T: Hey, the polls are ignorant idiots. No need to worry. The people love me.

P: But it’s the people who are being asked about you by the pollsters.

T: So, the people are ignorant idiots, also. I always knew that anyway.

P: But if the people don’t like you, how will you win the nomination?

T: The nomination process is an ignorant idiot.  I don’t need to be nominated or elected. I’ll just win. I always do.

P: I don’t think it works that way, Donald, although I’m still new to all this big-city politickin’. But I think people have to vote for you. That’s what they taught me when I was running for Vice President.

T: If you think that, Ms Imma-Momma-Bear-Shit, you are just an ignorant idiot, as well. And you are bleeding from your wherever.

P: So we can win without being nominated or people voting for us?

T: Who’s the “we” shit? This is my show, Hot Boobs.

P: I thought maybe I’d be your Vice President, Donald.

T: (Laughing) That’s rich. Oh wait. I’m the only one who’s rich around here. Listen, Ms I’m-Still-Learning-How-to-Live-in-A-State-That-Doesn’t-Eat-Whale-Blubber-for-Breakfast, I don’t need a Vice President. Vice Presidents are ignorant idiots.

P: I didn’t know that, either. They told me Presidents always have Vice Presidents.

T: Who’s the “they?”  Whoever they are, they are ignorant idiots.

P: Can I be in your Cabinet?

T: Cabinets are ignorant idiots.

P: What can I be in your Administration?

T: You can be my Ambassador to Alaska.

P: Alaska has an Ambassador? Aren’t we a part of the US already? That’s what they taught me.

T: I’m getting rid of Alaska. It’s an ignorant idiot.

P: Can you do that?

T: I can do whatever I please. And if you want to be Ambassador to Alaska, lose the glasses.

P: But I won’t be able to see.

T: You won’t need to see, for what I have in mind.

P: (Thinks, awhile) OK, Donald, you got me. I like your game better than the one I played before.

T: There is no game, other than mine.