Life in the Boomer Lane has just had a visit from Only Daughter and Beloved Grandsons, aged four and six. After they left, LBL spent a lot of time searching for tiny lost toy pieces and brain cells that had rolled under furniture and gotten stuck in random crevasses during the visit. While LBL could make a joke and say that her brain cells were lost during endless games of Connect 4 with the 6-year-old and creating scenarios of transportation mayhem with the Sesame Street train set with the 4-year-old, the truth is that the loss of brain cells occurred while she was watching the Republican presidential debate. Unlike the toy pieces, she suspects the brain cells will never be found.
Working with diminished brain cells, there is only one topic LBL is capable of writing about this morning, and that is the latest research on what men and women look for in a relationship. We can all get on board with the notion that if you are a 25-year-old woman, who owns a dog, drinks socially, and has a tough time keeping track of where you last left your panties, you will most likely be a success at online dating. But, beyond that, what is there?
A new study “How Sexually Dimorphic are Human Mate Preferences?” was published in the August 2015 issue of the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. If you have to run to the dictionary to look up the word “dimorphic,” LBL has beat you to it. It means “occurring in or representing two distinct forms.” If, on the other hand, you got stuck on the word “mate,” you need deeper help than this blog can afford.
In a nutshell, “Men’s and women’s ideas of the perfect mate differ significantly due to evolutionary pressures.” The study of 4,764 men and 5,389 women in 33 countries and 37 cultures showed that sex differences in mate preferences are much larger than previously appreciated and stable across cultures. So if you think you will do better by relocating to Nauru, you are SOL.
Researchers found that they could predict a person’s sex with 92.2 percent accuracy if they knew his or her mate preferences.
For those readers who are thinking, “Enough with the jokes, already. Tell us what the researchers found. To those readers, LBL responds that she is the author of this blog and she can write whatever she wants. She can string you along forever, with lame jokes and humorous references to Republicans or her grandchildren. She can even make stuff up, if she wants to. She is the little kid on the ball field who owns the ball, and if you don’t like it, she will take her ball and go home.
Now that LBL has scared you, she can get on with the post. According to the study, men favor mates who are younger and physically attractive. Women seek older mates with good financial prospects, higher status and ambition.
Let’s cut to the chase. Women are hard-wired to seek men who will give them the resources they need to produce and support offspring. Men are looking for fertile partners who favor crotchless panties and have strong knees. There are a lot of other characteristics that made the list, but these aren’t good material for jokes, so LBL is leaving them out.
For those astute readers who may be asking “This is all well and good, but haven’t we evolved beyond a primitive state, in which our brains are capable of nothing more than simple survival? Are we not capable of a deeper analysis of what constitutes a meaningful life? Can we not appreciate that simplistic responses to complex issues are doomed to fail? Has 200,000 years of human evolution amounted to no more than this?
For that answer, LBL directs you to watch Donald Trump’s answers to the questions posed to him at the debate. Then draw your own conclusions.