Mommy Wars began officially during the 16th century BC, when Ahhotep 1 ruled Egypt as regent after the death of her father. Ahhotep was instrumental in driving the Hyskos invaders out of Egypt. Many Egyptians, when surveyed, expressed a belief that, although Ahhotep certainly provided a service to her country, her two sons would have been better off had she stayed at home where she belonged and spent her days cleaning the palace and making snacks for the boys. Most Hyskos wished she had stayed at home, as well.
Since that time, women have been arguing over whether children are damaged when moms work. The overwhelming majority of people asked, as well as the conclusions reached by research, have said yes. While in recent decades, opinions flew through the air and in research journals, the percentage of working moms was steadily rising. Now, almost 75% of American mothers with children at home are employed.
In spite of the rising percentage of working moms, the belief that working moms are bad for children persist. From The New York Times, “According to Pew Research Center, 41 percent of adults say the increase in working mothers is bad for society, while just 22 percent say it is good.” The remaining 37 percent have no idea what the question was, but believe Hillary Clinton might be the only Democratic candidate capable of winning the Presidency.
Finally, after all the years of working mom-bashing, the New York Times reports that “a new study of 50,000 adults in 25 countries found that daughters of working mothers completed more years of education, were more likely to be employed and in supervisory roles and earned higher incomes” (23 percent more in the US). Having a working mother didn’t influence the careers of sons, since most sons never noticed that their moms were going to work each day, as long as there was a snack waiting for them when they got home from school. In spite of this, sons of working mothers did spend more time on child care and housework, in later years, as well as far more of them marrying women who worked outside the home. The penchant for snacks remained unchanged.
According to Kathleen McGinn, a professor at Harvard Business School and author of the study, “…we’re finding in adult outcomes is kids will be so much better off if women spend some time at work.”
While some researchers debate the results (results of most research for the past 2000 years is still being debated), the new study does go a step further than “the findings of a 2010 meta-analysis of 69 studies over 50 years, finding that in general, children whose mothers worked when they were young had no major learning, behavior or social problems, and tended to be high achievers in school and have less depression and anxiety.”
There is no doubt that this study will start a landslide of differing opinions and provide more gainful employment for researchers. And more research is good for both Life in the Boomer Lane and her devoted readers. The snack industry is expected to remain neutral.
Life in the Boomer Lane 
Gwen Tuinman
May 20, 2015
We do continue to wrestle with a lot of the same issues across the generations, don’t we? A quarter decade ago when I had my first child, the same debates were raging. I just wrote a piece about maternity homes which unearthed a lot of interesting stories. When it comes to becoming or being parents, there are no easy answers, it would seem.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 24, 2015
Yes, with the exception of computer technology, most of the issues humans have dealt with over time have been pretty much the same. As a friend once said, “Every day presents a new question to be answered, and most of the time, I have no idea what the answer should be.”
btg5885
May 20, 2015
Renee, on the one hand, it is nice to see study results that show a positive impact from working moms. On the other hand, the point is moot as most moms do not have a choice as part of a dual earning family or as a lone head of household. People that have this choice, should be grateful, but understand that they are in a minority. I would add that the more moms we get working around the world will not only help improve the status of women, but improve the regional economies. Thanks for the post, BTG
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 24, 2015
The lives of many women around the world would, indeed, be improved if they had the option of working. Here at home, many women work because they have to and many others work because it affords them a higher standard of living or an educational/ intellectual/creative outlet. Whatever the reason, it should be a woman’s choice.
Life With The Top Down
May 20, 2015
This debate will never be over. Unfortunately today the decision to work is made out of necessity, not choice. I’m glad I grew up in the 70’s raised by a village of stay at home moms.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 24, 2015
I think for many women it’s a mix of necessity and choice. So much has changed since most most stayed at home. That, too, is a mix of benefit.
Life With The Top Down
May 24, 2015
My mom went to work when I was in first grade because my father retired (20year age difference). In their case it was a necessity …. work or prison.
grannyK
May 20, 2015
I know I was so glad my mom was home when I was young, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have been fine had she worked. I think what matters is the quality of time you have with your child, even if it is only a few hours a day. For me, I found a balance by watching children in our home. I made money and spent the day with my kids. My kids loved it! They always had friends.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 24, 2015
I grew up with a stay-at-home mom. Then, during high school, she started a catering business. Although she cooked from home (the entire basement became command central for her operation), I saw a completely different woman emerge as a result. It was fascinating.
chlost
May 20, 2015
My mom worked most of the time when I was young. Her mother worked the entire time she was young. My father’s mother worked throughout his childhood. My mother-in-law worked throughout my husband’s childhood. My children seemed to have turned out wonderfully despite my “absence”. My siblings and I also are all functioning well in our adulthood. My husband has been successful even though his mother was “not there”. When my son and daughter-in-law had children, they were adamant that the girls not be in daycare. It was almost a dirty word. She stayed home most of the time, then worked in part-time jobs which allowed them to trade off the care of the kids without any daycare. I don’t understand why they felt that daycare was such an evil, at least my son has reported how much he liked the caregiver he had. But their girls have (so far) done very well overall, and they are thriving in school. I am not sure how my daughter-in-law feels now that she has been pretty much out of the job market for 8 years, but we’ll see what happens.
These “wars” need to stop and we need to just support parents in whatever decisions they make about their families.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 24, 2015
It’s exactly as you said. We need to support parents in whatever decisions they make about their families. People are different, families differ, and what works can look many different ways.
Sienna (@datingseniormen)
May 25, 2015
I can’t imagine my life without my career. I’ve met extraordinary people, learned valuable lessons, had wonderful fun during my decades in the workplace. I know full well you can’t have it both ways, but I will never stop wishing I had been a larger part of my son’s childhood. He’s fine. More than fine. It’s not a feeling of guilt, just one of longing.
Gail Kaufman
June 2, 2015
I subscribe to the thinking that your family is happiest when you have the capacity to give the best of yourself. For some women, that requires working outside the home and for others it means being a full-time mom.