
(I’ve written several posts over the years, about being Jewish at Christmastime. I’ve just about covered all angles and decided to give myself a break this year. I’m re-posting an old piece. If you’ve seen it already, fee free to do something more worthwhile, like standing in an endless line at the post office or going to Target for the tenth time this week. )
*****
When I was little, I wanted Christmas. I didn’t care that Hanukkah was eight days long, since I only got one present. People never talked about Hanukkah. Everything out there in the world was Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. The stores were all filled with trees and lights, Santas were on every corner ringing bells, my elementary school had Christmas decorations and we sang Christmas songs. I can still sing two entire Christmas carols in Spanish, just in case anyone is interested. Christmas was the Big Kahuna, the Whole Ball of Glittery, Red and Green Wax.
My parents had tried, even before I started school, to nip my desire in the bud. When I was three, my mother told me there was no such thing as Santa Claus. I was undaunted. Each year I waited for Santa to discover me. One year, I took a knee sock and hung it from the light switch near the front door. The next morning, the sock was there, hanging limply like an, uh, empty sock. Even a piece of coal would have been better than nothing. For the next ten years, I lusted after Christmas in my heart, even as I sang “Oh Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel,” in my temple Sunday School.
I was finally rewarded when I became seriously involved with a strawberry blond Methodist who would become my first husband. Finally, I could lay claim to the wonders of the holiday. The first Christmas I spent at my future in-laws’ house, I helped decorate the tree, swooned over the carolers who strolled through the neighborhood, attended the special Christmas Eve midnight service at the church. That night, I didn’t sleep for even a minute. I lay in bed like a five-year old, in a state of giddy excitement. At dawn, I jumped out of bed and snuck downstairs. I thought I was the luckiest Jew in the world. I had both bases covered.
Christmas Day was beyond my wildest imagination. Boxes and boxes of presents. A big stocking just for me, filled with chocolate, which I consumed before breakfast was served. A day of food, presents, visitors, more presents, more food. This was what life was meant to be.
At the end of the day, Then Husband borrowed his mother’s car to drive me home. It was late Christmas Day evening. The roads were deserted. We took the East River Drive in Philadelphia, a beautiful road, similar to Rock Creek Parkway in DC. I sat in the passenger seat in a post-Christmas overstuffed swoon, completely at peace. We turned a curve, and I watched TH turn the steering wheel. I noted that the wheel was especially easy to turn since it was no longer attached to the steering column. TH noticed the same thing as I did, because his response was to look over at me and scream “Holy Shit!” While we skidded sideways across the Parkway, he never did let go of the wheel, apparently hoping that it might decide to miraculously reattach itself.
The car finally came to rest when it climbed a little bit up the embankment on the far side. We scrambled out of the car and off the road. I’m sure TH took the steering wheel with him. Eventually, the Parkway Police found us, kicked the tires to get the car half way up the embankment and out of traffic, then gave us a ride back to TH’s house. Had there been the usual traffic on the road then, I’d be writing this post from the Great Bloggers Beyond.
I did eventually get home that evening, although it was well past midnight, and I felt like my Christmas bubble had burst. In retrospect, I’m not sure if the experience was due to divine disappointment for my temporarily switching allegiance from the religion of my forefathers, or just a slight oversight by the mechanic when my future mother-in-law had her car inspected.
I’ve since learned to celebrate Hanukkah in a way that leaves me with no feeling of deprivation. And, of course, Christmas is still magical. For this reason, I sent my baby grandson, who lived in London at the time, eight Hanukkah presents. Then I sent him a Santa outfit. But I sent the Hanukkah gifts first. I don’t need to be taught any more lessons.
betternotbroken
December 14, 2014
It is beautiful to love whatever you are in a world full of a lot of other things than you. Cheers to not needing any more lessons in life, even if this period last just a little longer. You can always do both but this year, I am cheap and tired and so the 8 day festivities will be one day with latkes, Hanukkah Mad Libs already purchased, a jelly donut for my one child who likes them and acceptance that my family went awol and atheist years ago when World War II broke out and I am looking forward being comfortable with the decisions made since then in terms of my spirituality, religion and identity although it is not easy at this time of year. I feel guilty for not going back in time and being what I “could have” been but it was not my path. My kids can choose for themselves. You are a gifted writer and humorist, Happy Hanukkah. I hope you laugh al the way through it and see a great miracle.
Life in the Boomer Lane
December 16, 2014
Wow, I am farklempt. Thank you for these comments. I long ago traded the dogma for the joy. I now hold annual Seders (mostly feminist) and raucous Hanukkah dinners. Like you, I am comfortable with the decisions I have made about my spirituality, religion, and identity.
betternotbroken
December 16, 2014
Hooray for comfortable with decisions! For me, that is operating at maximum capacity, as good as it gets. Happy New Year of the non- Rosh Hashanah variety to you as well. Enjoy every bite of your dinner(s).
Enchanted Seashells, Confessions of a Tugboat Captain's Wife
December 14, 2014
My mom did it differently. Even tho we are Jewish (my grandfather was a rabbi) we always had a tree AND a menorah and I got gifts on the 25th as well as the 8 days of Hanukkah. I still do! And I’ve carried on the tradition with my son. My mom’s theory was that it didn’t make sense to deprive me of a chance to receive gifts- everyone else at school had Santa, and I should too. Maybe that’s where I got the whole Princess thing, ya think?
Life in the Boomer Lane
December 16, 2014
I love that. Then Husband was Methodist, and we celebrated eight days of Hanukkah, with gifts, and then had a fabulous Christmas at his parents’ house. When his mom could no longer manage Christmas, we got a tree and celebrated at home.
Enchanted Seashells, Confessions of a Tugboat Captain's Wife
December 17, 2014
My mom (her dad was the rabbi) felt so bad at school being the “different” one that she vowed her own kids wouldn’t suffer the same sad feeling. what’s not to love about a beautiful sparkling shiny pine tree? (or easter eggs?)
btg5885
December 14, 2014
Glad you are from this side of the Blogging world. I like your mixing the holidays up with your presents. To me, the holiday should be about family so as long as people are together, that is most important. Happy Hanukkah.
Life in the Boomer Lane
December 16, 2014
Thanks, BTG. And a wonderful Christmas to you.
Gail
December 15, 2014
I know what it’s like. My best childhood friend was Christian and I enjoyed sharing the joy of the holiday season with her family, decorating the tree and exchanging presents. But as an adult, I grew uncomfortable with people wishing me a Merry Christmas or asking what I’m doing for Christmas. I used to explain it’s not my holiday, but now I just nod and smile. Strange how people just assume. I never understood that.
Elyse
December 16, 2014
I, too am glad you’re with the living bloggers. Those other ones are just not terribly funny.
pegoleg
December 16, 2014
So true. I’ve never met a dead blogger who inspired giggles.
Elyse
December 16, 2014
They are good for an occasional moan, though.
Life in the Boomer Lane
December 16, 2014
I’m planning a series of posthumous posts in about twenty years. I’m calling it Tomber Humor.
sopranomom2
December 16, 2014
Since marrying my Jew-“ish” husband 21 years ago, I have celebrated both Hanukkah and Christmas for quite some time now. Just tonight I was moaning about dragging out the Menorah and going through the whole 8 night ritual, but once that candle was lit and the dreydl was in motion all my reluctance melted away. How can I complain about a holiday tradition that basically consists of sitting around the warm dining room table on a cold winter night with my family, saying a prayer, lighting candles, singing a song, and playing a game with a top and chocolate coins before we all head off to bed?
Life in the Boomer Lane
December 17, 2014
I’m with you. My granddaughters presents are all in Seattle, awaiting the start of Hanukkah. My grandsons’ presents are wrapped and awaiting their arrival here. On Monday evening, we will have our annual Hanukkah dinner, and I expect it to be as crazy and as wonderful as it always is.
cdan681
December 21, 2014
I love the dreidel song and Hanukkah. As a Roman Catholic I pull out a dreidel I bought in DC fourteen years ago, and sing. I loved Christmas,when my dad lived. It’s hard decking the halls now but I look at my porcelain Baby Jesus and say, “Give me a grateful heart.” As a boomer letting my Christmas snow hair escape my scalp, I am asking Baby J for a Starbucks with someone who looks like A&E’s Longmire. A single, childless boomer at Christmas can be spooky but I have a little dreidel! Thankyou for making me laugh.
Life in the Boomer Lane
December 21, 2014
You are quite welcome. And it sounds like you already have a grateful heart.
cdan681
December 21, 2014
I love my Jewish brothers and sisters. They rock! HAPPY HANUKKAH. Merry Christmas too! 😍🎁🎊🎉