Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

Posted on April 11, 2012

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Interview With A Legend

The Reeses Peanut Butter cup was invented by H.B. Reese in 1923.  Mr Reese, now age 112, resides in the Golden Oasis Retirement Home and Dog Training Facility in Ephrata, PA.  He consented to the interview with the stipulation that it include a trip to Denny’s for the Grand Slamwich Breakfast.

LBL: Mr Reese—

HB: Are you here to restock my Depends?

LBL: Uh, no.  I came to interview you.

HB: Where’s the Depends girl?

LBL: I don’t know.  Can I interview you?

HB: I think she’s hot for me.

LBL: Uh, OK, so can I ask you some questions?

HB: I won’t tell you what HB stands for, if that’s what you want to know.

LBL: Actually, no.  The peanut butter cup. It’s what you are famous for.

HB: Ask the Depends girl what I’m famous for.

LBL: I think we have to get back on track here.  So, you invented the Reeses Peanut Butter Cup in 1923.

HB: If you say so.  I, personally, can’t remember 1923 that well. I was busy inventing Time Magazine.

LBL: Well, you are the inventor of the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

HB: Right, that and a lot of other things.

LBL: But it was the peanut butter cup that made you famous.

HB: Yeah, funny how that goes. It should have been Viagra.

LBL: You invented Viagra?  But that didn’t come out until 1994.

HB: Mine came out in 1929. I called it “Instant Party in Your Pants.” The party and the stock market went limp at the same time.

LBL: I can’t believe you invented Viagra.

HB: That’s not all kiddo.  The birth control pill.

LBL: Wait a minute.  I think you are pulling my leg.

HB: Hey, did the Depends girl sneak in here?  That’s what she does. Or, at least she thinks it’s my leg.

LBL: I think you are a dirty old man.

HB: And I think you have a really stupid name. You Boomers are really full of yourselves.  I’m sorry I ever invented the term “Baby Boomer.”

LBL:Can we get back to the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup?

HB: Sham Wow.  I invented that also.  Oh yeah, canned whole chickens. And a Do-it-Yourself Colonoscopy kit.

LBL:What about the peanut butter cup? I really don’t want to hear about anything but that.

HB: Chocolate. Peanut butter. Now you know everything there is to know.  Mindless. I invented Tom Cruise. That took a lot more finesse, although I’ll admit that sometimes I regret having invented him. He gets on my nerves.

LBL: This interview might be over.

HB: Not without my trip to Denny’s, it’s not. I invented the Grand Slamwich, you know, or at least the liquid version.

*****

Need more Reese’s?  We understand.  It’s tough to eat just one.  So, here are Reese’s Pieces:

Peg-o-Leg’s Ramblings

Childhood Relived

The Closet Monster

Go Guilty Pleasures

Elyse

Fix It Or Deal

Play 101

K8edid

Laura

Lenore Diane

Running From Hell With El

She’s A Mainiac

Spilled Ink Guy

The Byronic Man

The Good Greatsby

The Ramblings

Thoughts Appear

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Posted in: humor