Five years ago (or 100, depending on quantum physics and the state of my mind), my two friends and I wrote a book about life over 50. After enough publishers (insert hiss, boo, bad, a lot of other negatives here) told us the book was great but there was no market for 1. a book about women over 50 or 2. a book written by three people, we went the print-on-demand route. We sold thousands of books and got a cheesy award from iUniverse which proclaimed us superstars in the world of print-on-demand.
Last year, our second book came out. Again, we went the print-on-demand route. We came really, really close on a couple of occasions to getting a real publisher. But we decided that we’d better stop waiting for a publisher or we’d be holding book signings in the nursing home. Our second book is doing as well as the first. Both books have won national awards. In addition, the new one was #4 on More.com’s list of “Top Ten Books to Read This Spring.” We spoke at the 2010 AARP Convention in Orlando. None of this is magical at all. And none of it has gotten us any national recognition. Unless you are already well-known (in a nefarious way, even better) or unless you just won the Billion-to-One-Lottery in which some complete unknown falls into literary stardom, that’s the reality of having written a book.
People always ask me how we sell so many books and I say “One book at a time.” Forgive the cliché, but that’s how we do it. We do our Dog and Pony Show for any women (and men) who will listen to us and to any media outlets who are willing to cover print-on-demand books. Hell, I’d talk to a group of dogs if they would sit and listen and promise not to bite me or try to lick my crotch and if they had unexpired VISA cards.
It’s really hard work. Because there are three of us, there is always one person available if one or two of us are having emotional breakdowns because 1. We feel like horses following the ever-unobtainable carrot 2. We don’t make any money doing this 3. Some illiterate twit celeb has just published a book with 100 million advance sales before it ever hits the stores. It will be at this point that we’ll get an email from someone who tells us how she loved the book or how the book changed her life (Yes, we actually do get emails like that), and we’ll stop feeling sorry for ourselves.
If you are an aspiring writer and you want to get published, here’s what I think: There is no magic way to do it. The publishing industry has way more reasons to not publish you as you have reasons to get published. If you want to spend money on courses and books that scream, “How to Get A Book Publisher!” by all means, go ahead. But that most probably won’t get you published. But let’s say you do get published (I think the actual chances of getting published are one in whatever number of individual sheets of toilet paper exist on the planet at any given moment). Know that your publisher won’t put a lot of energy into marketing your book. That’s another reality.
Write because you are passionate about writing. Then, whether you do get published or whether you self-publish, put more energy that you ever thought you had into trying to reach people. If you can sit in a bookstore at a table for three hours and only one person shows up, and, if you can throw your heart and soul into reaching that one person, you might have what it takes. The next event might have 100 people. That’s just how it goes. One book at a time.
Life in the Boomer Lane 
writerwoman61
October 22, 2010
Very wise, Renée…most of us are not going to be Stephen King!
Wendy
lifeintheboomerlane
October 22, 2010
It drives me crazy when articles tout very famous books that took years to get published (in other words, don’t give up). For every one of those there are a billion that never got published.
John Hayden
October 22, 2010
So, so, true, true. And it’s not only books. In nearly every pursuit, the game has narrowed to “Winner Take All.”
Nassim Nicholas Taleb, in “The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable,” says our world has changed from “Mediocristan” to “Extremistan.” He points to the example of a zillion authors for every best seller as an example of “Winner Take All.”
I’m 62, and I have a better chance of becoming a starting quarterback in the NFL than I do of publishing a book.
Thanks goodness blogging is free.
lifeintheboomerlane
October 22, 2010
Thanks for reading! Amen to what you wrote. After our experience with conventional publishers, we tell people to go ahead and try, but don’t try forever. if you have the motivation and the commitment, go the print-on-demand route. Then market the hell out of your book. I’ve spoken with authors (even relatively well-known people) who believed that their publisher would do the work for them. They are always in for a rude awakening. I will definitely check out the Taleb book, as well as your blog.
duke1959
October 22, 2010
I just love your blog. It reminded of a conversation I had many years ago when I hurt my back. ( And was whining about it) A dear friend looked at me a said ” take it one day at a time like you have any other choice”! In all books that are sold it does come down to one at a time. (unless you happen to run into someone who loves you so much that they feel all of their friends must read what you wrote). My wife is almost 10 years older ( 60) and I need all the advice I can get!
lifeintheboomerlane
October 22, 2010
Thanks, Duke! Like anything else, I always remind myself that people have endless choices about what to spend their time or money on. So when someone buys my book, it’s an honor. Same as when someone spends time to read my blog. Congrats on having the great taste to marry an older woman!
duke1959
October 23, 2010
Your blog I find very refreshing. The funny thing about my wife being older is that we met through a christian singles paper. When I wrote her she said I was too young for her. That was 14 years ago.
lifeintheboomerlane
October 23, 2010
Love it. I have two friends who married younger men, in each case a 14 year difference. My 2nd husband (We’ve been married four years)is slightly less than two years younger, but I still get a kick out of it, especially since he had dated much younger women for many years. We met on Match.com. He found me after he decided to “up” his age search to a couple years older than him. And there I was, the love of his life.
Walker
October 23, 2010
Admittedly this is a slightly depressing post for one who hopes to get a publisher’s eye one day. Though realistically I know all you’ve said about the process. My first try w/ an agent was a definite ‘heads up’. You don’t mention the name of book #2, is it the one shown in sidebar? And, how do we go about purchasing it?
lifeintheboomerlane
October 23, 2010
We went through so many close calls with agents We were under contract with two at various times along the way and each was sure he/she could sell our book to a publisher. We thought one big publisher was a done deal. The acquisitions editor loved us but the committee eventually turned us down. It was a real eye opener about how the publishing industry works. The last thing I want to do is to discourage people. I just want people to be realistic. Of course, everyone should try. But I feel if people start out being realistic, then they won’t go into a tailspin if rejection letters start coming in and then say “Screw it.” You are a good writer, certainly good enough to be published. You could be the one who could make it. But even if that happens, you can’t depend on the publisher to market the book to any extent. And yes, our second book is the one on the sidebar. You can get it through Amazon (Saving the Best For Last: Creating Our Lives After 50). In our particular case, I say Hurray for print-on-demand!
duke1959
October 23, 2010
There are concerns with the age difference now. The reality is that she is 10 years older and of course we never know about such things but what do I do if something happens to her?
lifeintheboomerlane
October 23, 2010
None of us knows what will happen tomorrow. And women do have longer life expectancies than men, another great reason for older women/younger men matches. If something does happen to her, you will survive. And the same for her if something happens to you. But how lucky you both are that you found each other. I’d concentrate on that, on just loving each other and being there for each other. Day to day. That’s all any of us has.
sunshineinlondon
October 23, 2010
This is such a wonderful, real and encouraging blog. And just what I needed to read today, Renee – thank you so much. I do have a dream to write a book, and was talking about that today. You’re a fab role-model.
Sunshine xx
lifeintheboomerlane
October 23, 2010
Thanks so much. You are such a good writer, so you are already halfway there. Declare it! What kind of book are you thinking of writing?
text me, love mom
October 26, 2010
Oh my word! I am working on a book (I call it a book ‘project’ – cause projects are so 2010!) and have told myself I would do print on demand if necessary, but you know reading this, maybe it is the way to go. Can’t wait to read your book now. Check out my blog – I’m excerpting the book, ‘Text Me, Love Mom’ as I finish it. It’s the empty nest thing – which I haven’t quite got a handle on yet – but you three might inspire me.
lifeintheboomerlane
October 26, 2010
I love your blog! I have just put a link to it and will subscribe. I really love the “stunned mother” thing. Listen, I spent a lot of money on therapy and meds (the meds are much more effective). I had no reaction to my kids leaving home. Mine was a totally delayed reaction (I’m slow on the uptake). It didn’t happen until they had established lives elsewhere (London/Seattle/Charleston, SC), found partners, and when they used the word “home” it had nothing to do where I was. Complete emotional tailspin. I love the idea of your book, and the title is perfect. I will read the exerpts eagerly. And I have now become the world’s greatest authority on print-on-demand. I will answer all questions. Operators are standing by.