As reported by Heather Cox Richardson on Sunday, Senate majority leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and House speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) announced they had reached a $1.66 trillion agreement to fund the government in 2024…Members of the Freedom Caucus immediately panned the agreement, well before it was actually printed.
Random members of the Freedom Caucus were asked which parts of the agreement were anathema to them. Most responded that “anathema” was a dirty word because it was what someone had to give you if you couldn’t poop. Other responses were as follows:
Dan Bishop ”The 2020 election was stolen, period. Uless the budget includes this statement, I will never support it.”
Lauren Boebert “Does anybody give a shit about why I changed districts? I think not. Oh, and I wasn’t vaping.”
Ben Cline “We are sick and tired of Neo Nazi Communist Liberals forcing the government to spend money on all kinds of needless stuff. We support none of that. I am a Christian. I know about this stuff.”
Matt Gaetz “Biden isn’t even the President. And his son is a crook. Ask them to fund the government. See how fast they start writing checks. What a joke.”
Andy Biggs “I want to go on record to say that Trump is God. Nothing else matters.”
Marjorie Taylor Green “I would be honored to serve this country as Vice President. You know ‘vice’ is a bad word. I will make it a good word. That will be my slogan: Marjorie Taylor Greene: She Makes Vice Suitable for Kids.
Having explained in great detail why the proposed budget was not acceptable, all members of the Freedom Caucus then went on to smear Johnson on all forms of social media, including murder blogs and General Hospital Spoilers message boards. The response from the public was swift and overwhelming, mostly asking “Who is Mike Johnson and it doesn’t matter anyway. We are prepared to hate him.”
Johnson, astutely seeing his future as going down the same drain as failed Speaker McCarthy’s did last fall (akin to trying to juggle a bunch of chain saws while blindfolded), took immediate action. At a secret, closed door, bug- free meeting, Johnson face his detractors.
“If you don’t stop smearing me on social media,” he threatened the Caucus, I will have to resort to going to Real President Trump and tell on you. I will ask him to take my side, and you all know what that means.”
The laughter could be heard all the way to the Capitol Cafe.
Life in the Boomer Lane 
Anonymous
January 11, 2024
Yep LBL… perfect description of the GOP FC Circus… Actually more like the real world horror movie we all are living in (or with) the FC and the MAGA right… Yes, in particular Mike Johnson is very scary because just Liz Cheney says: if the GOP is in control 2025 Johnson as promised will just throw out votes by the millions if the WH is appropriately occupied… Single party rule is on the way and a huge number of MAGA right will finally get their King…
geezenslaw
January 11, 2024
Yep LBL, the GOP FC/MAGA circus…
Except not entertaining or funny…
More like a real world real time horror show we are forced to live in…
Liz Cheney made the best prediction about 2025 when the GOP/MAGA institute single party rule whereupon MJ throws out millions of votes citing the WH is not appropriately occupied… 40′ sloop on the way to residency elsewhere…
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 12, 2024
And the longer the horror show goes on, the less inclined I am to blog. At some point, I switched from blogging about the antics of everyday life to venting about our increasing political chaos, continuing ruination of the environment and our sick obsession over guns. My stats have gone steadily down because I’m speaking to people who are already overwhelmed with it all. I am planning, however, to do a blog post about Jasmine Crockett, (D-Texas), the young, courageous, whip-smart woman who tells it like it is to all the loathsome members of the GOP. I am in awe of her. At the risk of no one reading, I feel like I have to say something about her. After that, I either fold up shop or go back to commentary on everyday life. Thanks for being one of the loyal readers.
Anonymous
January 12, 2024
I can see any of these quoted morons reading this and quasi-thinking: “Hmm. That’s good. I can use that.”
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 12, 2024
I wish. Then I could sue them for plagiarism and crimes against humanity.