Why People Don’t Wear Face Masks

There has been a lot of confusion around the wearing of face masks. Mostly, this consists of two groups of people. One group is comprised of scientists and medical professionals who say that face masks are the #1 way, along with social distancing, that people can protect themselves from Coronavirus. The other group is comprised of people who have some really outstanding non-scientific reasons why face masks are to be avoided at all cost.

Life in the Boomer Lane has done an exhaustive survey of reasons why face masks are a big no-no to many people. She shares some reasons with you, her Loyal Readers.

1.Face masks contain microscopic toxins, most likely implanted by Bill Gates, in his ongoing effort to either wipe out the human race or subject everyone to mind control. The fact that he spends countless billions of dollars trying to save the human race is his clever smokescreen that prevents us from knowing his true agenda.

2. Face masks are a spawn of the Devil. If you unravel a face mask and lay all of the fibers out on a table, you will get the following message: Revenge and immortal hate shall be mine. Glory shall be my wrath and might. Bend thy knee and bow to me. The terror of my arm shows no doubt of my Empire of Darkness. (This quote is either directly attributable to Satan, or if viewed on a table that has a wonky leg, to Mitch McConnell.)

3. Wearing a face mask is a secret way to show support of the Deep State. Although nobody actually knows what the Deep State is or does, it’s behind everything that supports destruction of the American Way of Life.

4. Face masks throughout human history are a sign of very, very bad people. American Indians wore face masks disguised as headbands with feathers on them and so had to be wiped out. Mexicans wear face masks disguised as hats and so we need walls to keep them out. Protestors wear face masks disguised as homemade signs. Immigrants wear face masks disguised as funny clothing. All of these people are out to destroy the American Way of Life.

5. Face masks don’t allow men to look like Manly Men. Being a Manly Man is the duty of every male person who supports the American Way of Life.

6. Face masks prevent people from breathing the pure, abundant and totally free-of-charge air that god has provided us, with the ever-present help of American Industry.

7. Face masks are the same as vaccines They are a form of control that goes against everything we hold dear, which includes Spring Break and going to crowded bars and political rallies. As Americans we have the right to live and die as we see fit, with no one telling us what to do. We take full responsibility for the consequences. If we get Covid, so be it. The only responsibility the government has is to make sure there is a bed for us in the ICU, as well as umpteen thousands of dollars worth of medical equipment and trained medical professionals who will work tirelessly around the clock, with no thought to their own safety, to save our lives. That’s the American Way of life.