Susan, immortalized in my many previous Sex and the Sixty Year Old posts, is at it again. The girl just can’t stay away. This time, she is trying a new and improved dating site for folks over age 50. Her primary goal is not to meet men over 50. It is more about her getting tired of being besieged by 20-something-year-old men who insist they really do want to get into relationships with women over the age of 60. Susan always suggests they put themselves up for adoption, but they are persistent little devils.
The newest crop of men are giving every indication of being every bit as colorful as the previous ones. Here are a couple:
Subject: “Due Diligence” (his words, not mine)
“In Charleston, be my guest, totally free except for your fuel, incl great meals and resort, all so we can talk and see if you can be my woman in two weeks, after that I sail, and hope that you are on board, with the pre nup for the Caribbean marriage, Love, Capt. Jim”
Capt Jim wastes no time. One wonders what would happen if one set sail with him, then got into a spat onboard. I’m thinking he wouldn’t even have the patience to wait until he got to the next port to unload his unwanted cargo.
This one was received from a man after Susan wrote back that she didn’t think they were a match. His response: “I’m not looking for a match. Only for someone who will love me.”
The above opens up a whole new way of looking at relationship. If we eliminate the pesky compatibility factor, as well as the requirement that someone love us, we certainly do increase the number of people with whom we can fall in love. And once space exploration picks up again, the possibilities become unlimited.
Susan has received at least five emails from tennis players over the age of 68. She is now wondering if someone posted her picture on the Senior Tennis Association website.
For a complete catch up of all the Sex and the Sixty (Year Old) posts so you are up-to-date on Susan’s antics, or for a reason to delay cleaning out the kitty litter pan, visit:
Sex and the Sixty (Year Old) Pt1
Sex and the Sixty (Year Old) Pt2
Sex and the Sixty (Year Old) Pt3
Sex and the Sixty (Year Old) Pt4
Sex and the Sixty (Year Old) Pt5
Sex and the Sixty (Year Old): The Rebuttal
Sex and the Sixty (Year Old) Pt7
Life in the Boomer Lane 
morristownmemos by Ronnie Hammer
July 17, 2012
Susan must be an incredible optimist. Maybe if she’d go about where her interests take her she would meet some people with similar interests.
Or does it HAVE to be a man with whom to have a relationship?
It has to be hard; I feel sorry for Susan, even though she gives us lots of reasons to smile.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
Unfortunately, it does have to be a man. Otherwise, as she has pointed out on numerous occasions, she would have a greater range of possibilities. She is an optimist, though, which is great.
BABYBOOMER johanna van zanten
July 23, 2012
Great post. I devoted some of my stories to that same subject. I was an optimist for at least ten years, but recently I have decided it’s not worth the trouble as what I would like is not out there in my age range: men have fallen behind and have by now petrified– literally. I am 63 looking like 53.
Johanna van Zanten
mimijk
July 17, 2012
Go Susan!! May she continue to find reasons to laugh and be amazed at the eclectic responses she receives…and may one of them be worthy of her.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
Amen.
speaker7
July 17, 2012
I love that Cap’n Jim ended his post with “love, Cap’n Jim”. You think, at first, he’s playing coy, what with the pre-nup and Caribbean marriage proposal, but then you realize he’s into her. Go Cap’n Jim. May the wind be at your back.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
I thnk Capt Jim has wind to spare.
My Inner Chick
July 17, 2012
“**I’m not looking for a match. Only for someone who will love me.”** RED FLAG ALERT!
I hope Susan finds a man who is deserving of her Aweomesauce ❤
I think she's FAB.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
I agree!
Gayane
July 17, 2012
Great post Renee! Good for Susan, I admire her persistence and sense of humor, especially in sharing these adventures with us! BTW, Cap’n Jim wouldn’t even qualify for “The Bachelor”: he expects results in only two weeks?? Guess if a hurricane hits all bets are off? The lucky lady had better have a round trip ticket…..
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
For sure!
WSW
July 17, 2012
So the ARE worse things than being married. Good to know.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
I laughed out loud at your comment.
WSW
July 18, 2012
As I do at your posts.
K.L.Richardson
July 17, 2012
OMG! I can’t believe it! I got Captain Jim (same story even)too but it was 4 yrs ago….watch out Susan, there is something fishy there and it ain’t marlin!
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
Unbelievable. I’ll have to tell Susan. That reminds me of the time Susan and another friend of mine found out they had responded to the same guy, a couple years apart. Lots of info flying back and forth.
K.L.Richardson
July 18, 2012
Even though there is a funny side to all of this it can be quite scary when you contemplate the things that could go wrong. I have to wonder how many times we single (and emotionally vulnerable) women have had a close brush with a psychotic killer and never knew…
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
I don’t want to think about that, but it’s very true.
Sylvia Morice
July 17, 2012
Is it wrong to root for Cap’t Jim? LOL…really, if this guy has been trying for at least four years somebody should take pity on him! Not me, mind you, someone else… 🙂
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
Right. SOMEONE ELSE.
ryoko861
July 17, 2012
Hey, I’d date him! He likes sailing, I like sailing! I’m not looking for matches either, just someone to have fun with…..Oh, wait…..I’m married.
Damn!
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
Funny girl.
notquiteold
July 17, 2012
I learned the hard way – don’t go out on a boat with a man you don’t really know. When you find out he’s an ass, it’s hard not to just jump overboard.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
Oh boy, same thing with flying out to Oklahoma….
Audubon Ron
July 18, 2012
Tennis players over the age of 68 always get DQ’d for delay of game penalties. Just sayin’.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
Funny boy, Ron.
The Byronic Man
July 18, 2012
Do you know the Sea Captain on The Simpsons? Cap’n Jim’s notes are enhanced greatly if you can read them in that voice.
And isn’t that nice that he’s allowing two whole weeks before you’re shanghai’d aboard a ship?
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
He’s a master at delayed gratification.
Betty Londergan
July 18, 2012
I want to be friends with Susan, too! She obviously has something going on with all the attention she’s getting from 20 year olds. Plus anybody over 50 who wants to be in a relationship is a romantic dreamer by definition. The triumph of hope over experience … what a gal!!
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
A romantic dreamer is a great way to put it. Susan never gives up, in spite of saying “I’ve had it! Never again!” And she does love my writing about her antics.
Kathryn McCullough
July 18, 2012
Glad for an update on Susan.
Hugs,
Kathy
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
There will be more. Capt Jim turned out to be a rather unsavory character. Susan is out this evening to meet a guy who has driven 71 miles to meet her.
Go Jules Go
July 18, 2012
SUSAN IS MY HERO. Yes. That had to be in all caps. (Or all Capts, if you will.)
I don’t even know where to start with this. I roared at, “And once space exploration picks up again, the possibilities become unlimited.”
Will you tell Susan I love her? If I write her a letter, will you give it to her?
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 18, 2012
I think if you and Susan ever got together in the non-virtual world, there would be massive humor explosions that could be heard around the globe. She will read all these comments. Yes, send me an email and I will forward it.
Go Jules Go
July 18, 2012
Maybe we should partner up on Fifty Shades of Susan. We can feature 50 of her dates and how she wants to actually punish them in a Red Room of You Should Be Ashamed.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 20, 2012
This might be the best suggestion, yet. My next post about her will be Fifty Shades of Susan.
Go Jules Go
July 20, 2012
Excellent. And I hope it flatters Susan and makes her a little uncomfortable to know that during an unusual bout of insomnia last night, I composed a blog post in my head called “Dear Susan.” I figured you would give me your blessing if I decide to forge ahead. Why keep my love letter to her a secret from the blogging public, after all?
pegoleg
July 19, 2012
I love Susan. She is a Magellan sailing the modern Seas of Dating. Is that a sperm whale attacking her Sailboat of Love?
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 20, 2012
Yes, Peg, I have declared it so. And thank you for being the ONLY PERSON to have noticed.
suburbansusan
July 20, 2012
OMG. This is SUSAN. Yes, the real Susan. And thank you all for your wonderful comments and support. I am in love with Go Jules Go, have increased my dating pool age to 83 and lowered it to 33, expanded the zip code search to include foreign countries whose names I can’t spell, and have signed up for sailing lessons. As for 50 Shades of Susan … LOVE IT. I promise to keep putting myself out there so that Renee can keep you all entertained with humorous (but true) stories about my dating experiences. Coffee tomorrow with a newbie … stay tuned.
Main Street Musings Blog
July 23, 2012
I hear Rod Laver is still firing on all cylinders . . .
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 23, 2012
I actually had to look him up. He’s still around???
judithhb
July 23, 2012
Susan is sooo adventurous. I love the fact that Cap[t Jim is still looking for a mate after 4 years. Some catch – I prefer a marlin to a sperm whale.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 23, 2012
Hilarious.
betternotbroken
August 11, 2014
So funny and yet if you do not laugh it is frightening, eliminate the pesky compatibility factor and skip loving someone else as a priority and get it all done in two weeks as to not waste any time or money. How can that approach NOT fail?