The all-time winner of the Foot in Mouth Award is local Toronto police official Michael Sanguinetti who spoke to an assembled crowd at Osgoode Law School to discuss public safety issues. According Ronda Bessner, an Assistant Dean at the school, “He (Sanguinetti) said, ‘”I’m not supposed to say this, but to prevent being sexually assaulted, avoid dressing like sluts.’”
Let’s pause here for a moment. I’m imagining the following encounter between Mr and Mrs Sanguinetti after he read the rough draft of his speech to her.
So, what did you think?
Mike, I think if you use the word “slut” in the context of rape and sexual abuse, you are an even bigger asshole than I thought.
But seriously, don’t you think women ask for it? I mean what self-respecting male wouldn’t immediately yank out his schlong at the sight of young boobs in those tight little tops they wear? You know, the ones that sort of stretch across their chests and you can see their—
Mike, this is exactly what I’ve been telling you for how many years? You are an asshole. Now, I was nice enough to listen to your speech. Please sign the divorce papers so I can go back to my place.
According to Phoebe Connelly, a reporter with Yahoo News, “The outrage over that remark has since blossomed into a global protest movement aimed at changing such victim-blaming attitudes and drawing attention to violence against women. Welcome to the SlutWalks.”
The first SlutWalk was held in Toronto onApril 3, 2011. Women started planning the event about 15 minutes after Sanguinetti made his remark. While organizers expected 200-300 women to show up, 3000 women marched. Since then, aided by social media, walks have taken root in many cities in the US and across the globe.
As for Sanguinetti, he did apologize. “I made a comment which was poorly thought out and did not reflect the commitment of the Toronto Police Service to the victims of sexual assaults,” Sanguinetti wrote. “Violent crimes such as sexual assaults can have a traumatizing effect on their victims. . . . My comment was hurtful in this respect…I am embarrassed by the comment I made and it shall not be repeated. I apologize for any ill feelings my comment may have caused.”
The former Mrs Sanguinetti couldn’t be reached for comment.
Life in the Boomer Lane 
Mrs. H.
June 21, 2011
You know what’s interesting about his “apology”? He’s apologizing for the trauma the sex crime inflicts upon the victims. As far as his own words, he’s apologizing for not thinking out more clearly his opinion. He’s not actually apologizing for being an asshole.
What he should have said is something more along the lines of “I apologize for claiming that the women’s clothing caused men to act like barbarians. Clothing does not justify nor does it give license for sexual assault. If a woman wants to wear a tight, short little thing, then she should live in a world where wearing such an outfit does not categorize her according to sexual behavior and where it does not give permission to sexual predators.”
But you know what? This is right along with what my dissertation is about. And here’s what I’ve come to: we have been obsessed with the tie between clothing, gender, and sexual behavior ever since we’ve worn clothing, since there have been puritanical assholes who want to restrict and control people’s sexualities through clothing.
I think what women ought to feel (in addition to offense and outrage) from Sanguinetti is absolute and clear threat. He has threatened their ability to dress according to their own personal preference. He has threatened their confidence in the helpfulness of the police. He has threatened their sense of safety when encountering sexual predators. He has threatened their sense of indignation in the face of sexual assault. Whittled down, statements like that one actually mean, “Keep your pretty little mouth shut and don’t blame a sexual predator for assaulting you. S/he couldn’t help it because you were just way too hot.” It worries me…isn’t there a statistic somewhere that averages the number of rape claims intentionally NOT made until it’s too late because the victim is afraid she was “asking for it”?
This makes me mad. If I were married to that dillweed, that’s exactly how our conversation would have ended. “I just need you to initial here, here, and here. And sign your full legal name here, please.”
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
What an outstanding comment. Even though I am well aware of the attitude regarding a women’s appearance and the belief that when a woman looks a certain way, all bets are off, I became appalled all over again by doing a bit of research for the post. Isn’t it great that Sanguinetti made such an outrageous statement that women were finally moved to protest around the world, something they should have been doing for years. For that we can thank him.
Deborah the Closet Monster
June 21, 2011
I work in contract negotiation, and noted with chagrin the very limited scope of his apology. I haven’t yet managed to form a cohesive response to everything about the situation that aggravates me, but loved reading your very cohesive, very eloquent response. I wish there were a way to target your comment to those who’d most benefit from understanding sexual assault doesn’t occur because women are scantily clad, or that women covering themselves head-to-toe in cloth will not prevent sexual assault any more than outlawing ice cream trucks will eliminate demand for ice cream.
livelaughloveliquor
June 21, 2011
What an asshole!
Hey, I got your book, but havent started it yet (busy) but hope to do so soon. Beautiful child on the cover!
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
Please let me know how you like it when you have finished!
Kay Lynn
June 21, 2011
Sometimes I feel like we’re not making any progress in the world.
But then I see the brave women in Saudi Arabia driving and know there is still hope and we’ll still fight for the right to be treated fairly and equally.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
Thanks for visiting Life in the Boomer Lane, Kay. I can relate. I read somewhere that women are the greatest unused asset on the planet. It’s so sad that women must fight so hard in order to make a contribution to the welfare of everyone.
Kathryn McCullough
June 21, 2011
Wow, Renee, what a powerful and important post! And thank you, Amanda, for the insightful comment above! You have spoken for all of us!
Fucking asshole, indeed!
Kathy
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
I want to leave the computer and start marching.
Hansi
June 21, 2011
What an unenlightened statement especially from someone in law enforcement who should know better!. Having been a probation officer for 30 years, and having had training on, and actual contact with sex offenders,the whole thing about “sex crimes” is that they’re not really about Sex so much as about power, dominance, control of and humiliation of the victim. Any rapist is more likely to choose his victim based more on vulnerability than provocative attire.
As for the ‘Slut Walkers”….you go girls.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
Thanks for visiting Life in the Boomer Lane and for your great comments. I think your statement about sex offenders choosing victims based on vulnerability rather than provacative attire is so important. As I told another commentor, I am grateful to Sanguinetti for inspiring women (and men) to march over this issue.
Elly Lou
June 21, 2011
I think it’s time to Santorum that dude’s name.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
I second that nomination.
Mrs. H.
June 22, 2011
Done. I’ve e-mailed the folks over at “Spreading Santorum” (http://blog.spreadingsantorum.com/). Cross your fingers, ladies! Dan Savage can make anything happen!
kim sisto robinson
June 21, 2011
~~This man is an asshole and has NO IDEA what he is talking about. Oooh, right now I am burning.
Women asking for it?
Just by stating this; I place him in the same catagory as the rapist. Serious.
Damn fool.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
Just be grateful he said what he did and social media like Facebook spread the quote like crazy. Now women have finally taken to the streets. This has been going on for far too long, and it is time to stop it.
Tori Nelson
June 21, 2011
I want to walk like a slut, too! Wait. You know what I mean. I hate that the biggest fools are typically the ones in a position to make public speeches. Kind of makes you wish someone had had the foresight to tell him to find a path in life which involves no contact with people (or animals with feelings).
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
Or public POLICY.
dragonfae
June 21, 2011
Great post, and some great comments too. Thanks for bringing this to the attention of those of us who avoid the news media!
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
Thanks. It gets tougher and tougher to see what is going on this world. But at the same time, it gets more important.
dragonfae
June 22, 2011
I don’t have a problem with tough … it’s the fluff I try to avoid, the stuff annoys me. Unfortunately, in cutting out the fluff, some of the real news (like this) gets missed.
pegoleg
June 21, 2011
While I was in New York a couple of weeks ago there was a sad news item of an 80+ year old woman who was viciously attacked and raped as she went on her early morning walk. She must have been wearing her low-cut house dress, right?
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
I can’t even respond to this. It makes me sick to my stomach.
Simone Benedict
June 21, 2011
Great post and all the comments here are as well. For me, this man’s comment shows a mindset that an apology won’t overcome. I hope and pray he doesn’t have daughters.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
I second that. And that man is multiplied a zillion times throughout the world. Feh.
dragonfae
June 22, 2011
Though on has to wonder if he did have a daughter, would he feel differently?
winsomebella
June 21, 2011
Great posts start important dialogues. Thanks for yours.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
Wow, you are welcome. I’m just glad people are finally reacting to this damaging belief.
Margie
June 21, 2011
What the Constable said, according to most reports, is: “You know, I think we’re beating around the bush here. I’ve been told I’m not supposed to say this, however, women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.” He didn’t specifically say sexually assaulted, though that is what most people assumed he was referring to.
I didn’t take offense at what the Constable said. While I agree that women have the right to wear whatever they want, and what they wear does not signal their desire to be raped, there are circumstances and places where dressing like a “slut” could still be dangerous, if for no other reason than they could be confused for a prostitute.
The Constable was not talking about “Why Men Should Never Rape.” He was talking about “How Women can avoid being a Victim.” He could have also said, “Check the back seat of your car before you get in it if you are alone”, or “Don’t get drunk and go home with a complete stranger.” There are many ways that women can minimize being a victim, which is a very different issue than why criminals shouldn’t commit crimes, or why men shouldn’t rape.
Personally, I would take the advice of the Constable about how to be safe in the streets of Toronto. I would expect he knows more than the people walking in parades.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
Of course, there is a danger in taking any statement out of context, and it is entirely possible that the Constable does his job well. However, I do believe the meaning of the presentation was very clearly intended to provide women with information on how to be safe from sexual assault. And, as you have pointed out, he could have easily talked about checking out ones car or not going home with strangers, instead of focusing on provacative dress. That would have been completely valid. To bring up provacative dress simply feeds into the long-held belief that women, themselves, trigger abuse. Why shouldn’t prostitutes, or women who look like prostitutes, be able to live without abuse? Sexual violence has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with violence.
Margie
June 22, 2011
I don’t believe any of us know what else was in the Constable’s presentation. The media only grabbed onto the one statement and that was all they chose to write about.
You, in turn, chose to negatively stereotype a man you know nothing about. A man who was, it appears, trying to warn women that regardless of all the pie in the sky philosophies we hold about violence against women, women who are dressed like sluts are more likely to be victimized in certain parts of Toronto.
Why is this such an outrageous statement? Prostitutes will be the first ones to tell you that theirs is a very dangerous occupation. And while their clothing isn’t an invitation or trigger to violence, it is an identity card that is just as unique as an executives three piece suit. There are predators who target prostitutes and they probably don’t stop each woman and ask, “Are you a prostitute, or just someone who looks like one?”
2blu2btru
June 21, 2011
Wow, I’ve never heard of this incident of the SlutWalks. Where have I been? Unfortunately, it’s not the first time I’ve heard that sentiment expressed. It’s so much easier to blame the victim sometimes.
As always, your recreation was hilarious. He could have kept his non-apology…and they could have demoted him. I don’t want that guy on any sexual assault case of mine (God forbid I have one)!
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
I only heard about it when I saw it mentioned on another blog. My husband knew all about the incident. In so many cultures, women are seen as the triggers that result in rape. The extreme fallout of this are the marriages of child brides, some as young as seven or eight. Families condone this in order to keep their girls “safe.”
omawarisan
June 21, 2011
Damn it, every time I think I can be proud of my occupation some dumb ass opens his mouth.
I’d stay and say more, but they just called me back in to work a bank robbery. Banks. I don’t know what they expect when they have fancy buildings and marble floors in the lobby. They act like they’ve got money. They’re just asking to get robbed.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
You’re a funny guy, Oma. I’d want you on my case any day.
Walker
June 21, 2011
I’ve met many a police officer who would concur with the officer in Toronto. It’s yet another example of letting men (those few who are sexually violent) off the hook by focusing the blame on women.
In reference to Margie’s comment: women would not be in danger, regardless of dress, if there weren’t predators out there. Telling women what to wear is what we in the field call VICTIM BLAMING. I’ve worked for a number of years as the Director of 2 different sexual assault crisis centers and have encountered this again and again. What’s more appalling, in addition to idiots like this man, is the women who join in and attack women too-it gives them a sense of safety I think to assume that by dressing “appropriately” they too will be safe. Wrong.
Yes, we all, men and women, need to be vigilant and practice safety measures such as locking homes and cars, etc… but let’s not start restricting women’s behavior while letting rapists off with a slap on the hand.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
Great point about women believing that if they dress appropriately they will be safe. I keep saying, as many others do, sexual assault has nothing to do with sex. It is an act of violence.
Carl D'Agostino
June 21, 2011
Having dealt with high schoolers protesting dress codes and uniform implementation as a teacher for 33 years, the post is thought provoking. So many objected on the grounds that it violated their freedom of expression. I laughed out loud in these discussions because if you think wearing clothes is an expression you gotta be an idiot(except. for example, people wearing ethnic clothing like Eastern Europe did under Soviet subjugation). I presented that you express yourself writing a poem, through dance, song,painting and the like. Wearing blue jeans is not a celebration of the human soul. So if a woman dresses like a hooker, what in the Sam Hill am I to think she’s expressing?
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
For me, the point is less that clothing is a freedom of expression. It’s that no one has the right to tell me that by my wearing a certain kind of clothing, I am inviting violence. Let’s say a woman (me) dressed like a hooker, as you said. If I walk around looking like a hooker (hilarious thought), I can certainly expect that a man might approach me and offer me money for oral sex. But he doesn’t have the right to sexually assault me. I’m totally with you on the inappropriate dress on the part of a lot of young people (and some older people). Often, that’s about self-esteem (or lack thereof). And I also agree about the creative arts being a more powerful means of self-expression. Have you seen the blog http://www.advancedstyle.blogspot.com It is absolutely gorgeous. Photos of real people, many in their 70s, 80s, and older, who do use clothing as a means of self-expression.
pegoleg
June 21, 2011
Carl had a good question and Renee, your answer does a great job at parsing possible responses. If we dress in a way that we KNOW society takes as shorthand for certain lifestyles, etc, we can’t get angry when someone makes that assumption.
BUT!!! Nobody gives tacit permission to be hurt: it has to be explicit. And that’s an area of kink upon which I do not care to tread.
Carl D'Agostino
June 21, 2011
Oh of course. Nothing is condoned for the twisted minds that interpret clothing as an invitation for abuse. Miami is one of the most violent cities, so I sympathize. I will admit I just saw myself contradicting myself. Recently I ordered the Beatles “Yellow Submarine ” t-shirt and a Jimi Hendrix shirt. Oooops.
Walker
June 21, 2011
email address for the blog again.. that link is wrong, I think.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 21, 2011
Whoops! http://www.advancedstyle.blogspot.com I was just wallowing in the site! It’s hypnotic. I was looking at photos of a 91 year old artist and musician.
Klz
June 22, 2011
Unfortunately I’m too busy being barefoot and pregnant to even realize I was offended.
What an asshole.
Rape ia about power, which this asshole seems to want. It’s a shame he represents the force this way.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 22, 2011
I spent a lot of years being pregnant and sort of oblivious to what was happening in the world. Unfortunately for me, all the problems just waited until I finished. Yes, rape is about power. Violent power.
merrilymarylee
June 22, 2011
I agree completely about the constable’s statement being bone-headed. (Yeah,that’s the word I’m gonna use.)
At the same time, I can’t help but feel sad that so many smart young women find the current too-low, too-tight, too skimpy, too short outfits something they want to buy. f
Isn’t the watchword to be “hot” these days? If we’re going to call them “f– me pumps,” for goodness’ sakes, can we really be so sacrosanct in our condemnation when men comment? Not that I am saying women are “asking for it” by any stretch of the imagination… but I do confess to not being able to interpret the current trends.
I understood about why women wanted to purge their closets of girdles, pantyhose, industrial-strength bras, and toss their razors. Comfort, I get. Skin-tight clothing, bikini waxes, and anal bleaching? Not so much.
I worry about little girls and the screwed up messages they get these days when everything seems to be about sex. The fashion industry can’t wait to get their hands on them… why else would Banana Republic have designed a swim suit with a padded top for 7-year-olds?
lifeintheboomerlane
June 23, 2011
I agree that dress standards have sunk pretty low (and I always feel ancient when I say things like this). And many little girls are growing up way too fast. I’m sure each generation has felt that way about the younger generaltion. On the other hand, as you said, it still doesn’t mean that women are “asking for it.”
dufmanno
June 22, 2011
I’m marching around the National Mall right now with my sign but I seem to be attracting too much attention from hung over interns and the local vagrant who wears long johns in hot weather.
Still, this is awesome, just don’t tell my mom.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 23, 2011
My lips are sealed.
merrilymarylee
June 22, 2011
What WOULD the constable think?!
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/06/22/137348120/double-standard-us-airways-allows-man-wearing-panties-to-fly?sc=emaf
charlywalker
June 23, 2011
OMG..I’d a thought we have progressed by now…..maybe we haven’t sufragette enough!
If this continues I may have to apply for a sex change….
spread the humor:charlywalker.wordpress.com
great post!
Cindy Eve
June 28, 2011
wow!! they only started in April. how amazing. we had a SlutWalk in London on 11th June. I stumbled across it quite by accident after attending Trooping the Colour at Buckingham Palace. I heard the drums and saw the balloons and since I am quite unable to resist an ‘event’ I made my way over and since it looked fun I joined in. at first I had no idea what the walk was all about….but once amongst the crowd I had time to find out more. Sadly I had to peel off after a few meters, but what fun! and they have a point!
regards
Cindy
p.s. have a fab London stay
writerwoman61
June 30, 2011
Speechless…can’t believe I totally missed this story!
Wendy