I’ve been sick for the past few days. My vocalizations have become quite unique. If Donald Trump’s hair could talk, this is the voice it would have. I do a lot of whispering, so as to protect pregnant women and small children. Here’s what I discovered: Whisper, and the world whispers with you. Reveal your true voice, and large dogs bite your kneecaps.
I had a settlement yesterday. I asked the lawyer a question, and he whispered his answer. Then he said, “Wait a minute. I don’t have to whisper!” I whispered, “That’s right. You don’t.” Whereupon he continued to whisper. It was a long, and ultimately confusing settlement. The sellers still don’t know what happened.
Yesterday, all of my children called to wish me a Happy Birthday. I whispered to all of them. Two whispered back. One hung up, thinking we had a bad connection. I’ll have the same thing to look forward to on Sunday, when they call me for Mothers Day.
Today I went to the pharmacy to fill my prescription. I handed it to the pharmacist and whispered “How long will that be?” She whispered back, “Oh you poor thing. Fifteen minutes. I hope you feel better soon.”
For her sake and others, I hope I do.
Life in the Boomer Lane 
The Good Greatsby
May 7, 2011
Whisper and the world whispers back. Sometimes with my kids I speak quieter and quieter during the course of a conversation and love to hear them follow until we’re both barely audible.
(whisper) Happy birthday.
lifeintheboomerlane
May 7, 2011
Brilliant. I used to tell my kids, “I can’t hear you. You’re speaking too loud.” Sometimes it worked. And thanks!
writerwoman61
May 7, 2011
I hope you’re back in full voice soon, Renée…
Wendy
P.S. Did you at least have some ice cream to soothe your throat?
lifeintheboomerlane
May 7, 2011
Not ice cream but A LOT of chocolate. I don’t know about my throat, but it soothes my soul.
carldagostino
May 7, 2011
I use a “loud” whisper to speak to a person who is angry, yelling and screaming. It tends to quiet them down and regain their composure.
lifeintheboomerlane
May 7, 2011
Yes! Another thing you can do is to (in a very subtle way) keep moving your hands in a downward motion. And another is to simply repeat what they say but in a neutral voice. It usually stops them in their tracks.
jacquelincangro
May 7, 2011
I had a teacher who would get the class’ attention by whispering. Instead of yelling over the din of 20 third graders, she would whisper. It totally worked.
I wonder if I could apply this to board meetings at work.
lifeintheboomerlane
May 7, 2011
I’m sure I did that at times with my classes, when I wasn’t deranged.
pegoleg
May 7, 2011
Happy Birthday, poor baby. Hope you get your outdoor voice back soon!
lifeintheboomerlane
May 7, 2011
Thanks, Peg!
ladyjustine
May 7, 2011
Having had ‘la laryngite’ these last two weeks, I found nothing more effective at returning my voice than 1 tablespoon of glycerine, 2 tablespoons of honey and 1 squeezed lemon – take it as medicine!
I kind of liked my strange ‘broken’ voice though – but when I tried to talk, it physically hurt! It’s so true about whispering though. I might take to whispering!
lifeintheboomerlane
May 7, 2011
I’m going to try that today. Thanks!
Sigrid Rogowski
May 7, 2011
I hope you will feel better soon.
lifeintheboomerlane
May 7, 2011
Thanks, Sigrid!
Sigrid Rogowski
May 7, 2011
Have a great weekend.
lifeintheboomerlane
May 7, 2011
Thanks, Sigrid, and thanks for visiting Life in the Boomer Lane.
Kathryn McCullough
May 7, 2011
Sorry you’re not feeling great! But glad you had a good birthday. By the way, I love the title for this post–really fun!
Kathy
lifeintheboomerlane
May 7, 2011
Thanks, Kathy! It’s so much fun to see people not only whispering back but really, really listening to me. It’s just a shame I have no ultimate truths to dispense.
Margie
May 7, 2011
Congratulations on your birthday, and bigger congrats on having all your children call you!
lifeintheboomerlane
May 7, 2011
Thanks! I know how special that is.
Lisa
May 7, 2011
Renee, I hope you feel better soon. But whispering is a powerful tool, especially for a woman who has such power over words. 😉
lifeintheboomerlane
May 7, 2011
Wow, Lisa. I am whispering my thanks.
Alaina
May 7, 2011
I can relate to the laryngitis. I seem to get a rip-roaring (or rip-whispering) case of it every year, usually in February. First a cold, which seems to go away quickly. Then my voice gets scratchy and rapidly deteriorates. This usually coincides with an important meeting, interview or work as a tour guide. It usually lasts until I begin to fear that my voice is permanently damaged (about two weeks). No amount of lozenges, tea or remedies help. I give up talking on the phone and smile mutely at salespeople.
I get so tired of people’s pitying looks – when I have laryngitis, I sound like I’m on death’s door but I really feel almost fine, I just have no voice.
I hope you get better soon!
lifeintheboomerlane
May 7, 2011
Thanks, Alaina. It’s totally amazing to me that each cold/whatever seems to be completely different from all others. I don’t ever remember losing my voice like this before. Usually, I just sound like a person on the other end of a 900 call. Yes, I point to my throat and shake my head. I’m waiting for someone to leap onto me and do the Heimlich Maneuver.
kim sisto robinson
May 7, 2011
“If Donald Trump’s hair could talk, this is the voice it would have.”
Superb analogy.
Get your voice back soon!
lifeintheboomerlane
May 7, 2011
Thanks Kim, and thanks for visiting my alternate universe!
georgettesullins
May 7, 2011
What a birthday present. Fortunately because you have a prescription, it’s not a syndrome and will be cured soon. Happy Birthday and Happy Mother’s Day.
lifeintheboomerlane
May 7, 2011
Thanks, Georgette!
Carole
May 8, 2011
I hope you are whispering in a foreign accent, French would be nice, kinda sexy. Get well soon!
lifeintheboomerlane
May 8, 2011
Oooh, a French-accented whisper would be amaxing. I must be improving because someone told me today I sounded really sexy. But I think I still sound a bit rough. Maybe by tomorrow….
omawarisan
May 8, 2011
Happy Birthday. sorry I’m late, I was making cake…or something
lifeintheboomerlane
May 8, 2011
I think I was eating one…or something. But thanks.
sunshineinlondon
May 8, 2011
Happy birthday, Renee (I’m whispering for you)! Hope you had a lovely day, and that you feel better soon. I can’t imagine how awful a Donald Trump hairstyle-voice sounds, but it doesn’t sound pretty!
I love how people whisper back when you whisper … it would be rude not to, I guess!
Hugs from London
Sunshine xx
lifeintheboomerlane
May 8, 2011
Thanks, Sunshine, and hugs back to you. My voice has improved to 900 number status. That gets almost as much attention as a whisper.
writingsfrom50pluslady
May 8, 2011
Happy Birthday and Happy Mother’s Day.
Hugs from Stratford,Ct.
lifeintheboomerlane
May 8, 2011
Thanks! And Happy Mothers Day to you!!!