Browsing All posts tagged under »satire«

QVC Solves Global Warming

April 16, 2014

25

In 1690, the Massachusetts Bay Colony issued the first paper money in the colonies which would later become the United States. In 1691, QVC (Quality and Value for the Colonies) was created as a way for people to spend the new money they had. Today, QVC (in 1986, the C was changed to stand for […]

How to Look Beautiful, Dead or Alive

April 13, 2014

37

      Throw out every single beauty product you have.  Jill Kargman, the daughter of the former chairman of Chanel (BIG money, access to all of the best beauty secrets on the planet) has revealed in the New York Times every single beauty procedure and beauty product she uses.  Let’s skip over the fact […]

The History of Memory Techniques From 500 BC-2014 AD

April 8, 2014

20

    The history of memory training began around 500 BC. This is because, prior to 500 BC, nobody did anything that had to be remembered. From one million BC to 500 BC, everyone killed things and ate them, raised things and ate them, and then died well before they got bald or developed back […]

The Case Against Marriage

April 7, 2014

31

  Mickey Rooney, deceased as of this week, was known as much for being a serial husband (eight marriages) as he was for his long, legendary career as an actor. Rooney’s death got Life in the Boomer Lane to put down her can of salted cashew nuts and start thinking. How was it possibly that […]

90 is the New, uh, 90

April 1, 2014

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  It has recently come to Life in the Boomer Lane’s attention that, while she and her friends (roughly aged late 50’s to early 70′s) spend a lot of time bemoaning their physical and mental deterioration, a huge number of people are mindlessly cavorting through their 90′s, oblivious to the aging concerns that LBL and […]

The Myth of Men Not Being Able to Commit

March 26, 2014

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  Life in the Boomer Lane is continually amused by the glut of articles she sees about the inability that many men have to commit to relationships. Her own experience is that men commit more fully than women do. The difference is that, while women have relationships with people, men have relationships with inanimate objects. […]

The Rite of Spring Part 1

March 24, 2014

9

  Life in the Boomer Lane knows very well that the advent of spring usually involves young women developing a sudden, overwhelming need to cast bras aside and older women developing an equally intense need to force all manner of flower and vegetable to sprout in every available bit of green space they own.  LBL […]

Khal Putin Banned From Netflix

March 19, 2014

8

According to the Borowitz Report, in a brilliant bit of satiric wit, “In what was described as a major ramping up of sanctions, Secretary of State John Kerry announced on Tuesday that the United States had frozen Russian President Vladimir Putin’s Netflix account, effective immediately.”  Life in the Boomer Lane believes that the surprise move […]

How to Buy A Swimsuit

March 18, 2014

38

Life in the Boomer Lane has been so busy shoveling snow, losing gloves and stocking up on milk, toilet paper, and the makings of chocolate chip cookies, that she has failed to notice that Spring starts in two days. Spring is the season in which all of LBL’s senses undergo their yearly reawakening, and she […]

Seven Myths About Women Over 50

March 8, 2014

60

Back in 2005, two friends and I wrote a book titled “Invisible No More: The Secret Lives of Women Over 50.” We did it to dispel the myths about women of a certain age and to celebrate the good, the bad, the ugly, the inexplicable and the always-joyful that comes with being who e are […]

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