Browsing All Posts filed under »satire as news«

I-Z, We-Z, Uzi

August 31, 2014

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The tragic death of a gun instructor by a cute pink pants-wearing nine-year-old Uzi user-in-training has set off a wave of questions, starting with “Why is it necessary for a nine-year-old to learn how to operate an automatic weapon?”  A spokesperson for the Uzis for Youth Movement had this to say: “Children are being raised in […]

The Unrecorded Interview Between Matt Lauer and Sarah Palin

November 12, 2013

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ML: Ms Palin, you and other tea partiers have been quite vocal in your opposition to the Presidents’s Affordable care Act. Can you please give us a run through of the health care plan that you would propose? SP: I’m glad you asked me that, Matt. Let’s be clear about one thing from the get-go. […]

Living Large After Death

January 3, 2013

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Despite opposition from some members of his Republican party, and despite 87% of the American population being unable to pronounce his name correctly, John Boehner today won a second term as US Speaker of the House. In another joyous development, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter have been deemed safe listening fare by the Pentagon, while anything […]

Unicorns, Starvation, and Sparkly Fairy Dust

December 3, 2012

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  In an announcement Friday, the North Korean state news agency reported that archaeologists recently reconfirmed the discovery of the lair of a unicorn once ridden by an ancient Korean king.  According to the Korean Central News Agency, the discovery was made about 219 yards from the Yongmyong Temple in Pyongyang. A rock that sits in […]

Alienation

November 28, 2012

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    World events have been happening so quickly in the past week that, midway through my consumption of a sweet potato and marshmallow casserole, I seriously considered blowing off  the Post-Thanksgiving-Held-on-Actual-Thanksgiving Midnight Madness at the local Walmart in order to track events as they were unfolding. We shall begin with a discovery beneath the […]

Bimbos, Dildos, and Ho-Hos

November 19, 2012

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In an event even more shocking than the removal of a 9 inch dildo from the intestines of a 30-year-old man in Zhongshan, China, the Hostess Company, purveyors of food like substances since 1930, is shutting its doors.  No longer will chubby fingers be able to pull apart such nutrient-deficient but oh-so-fun products as Sno Balls, Devil […]

A Short Hiatus From Blogging

November 10, 2012

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Like Facebook, Twitter, and Donald Trump’s brain synapses, blogging imparts a belief that one’s thoughts are vital to the well-being of the planet.  A vacation from blogging imparts an awareness that world events tend to continue with or without During my hiatus from blogging, a president got re-elected, after both parties spent the equivalent of […]

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