A recent concern to the US military has been the rising number of “insider” attacks on our troops, specifically coming from Afghan police and soldiers. Marine Gen. John R. Allen, the top US commander in Afghanistan, speaking to reporters at the Pentagon from his headquarters in Kabul, said the reasons behind the attacks are not fully understood and likely can be attributed to a variety of factors, including Taliban infiltration of the Afghan security forces.
Another source he cited was Ramadan and the requirement for Muslims to not eat or drink during daylight hours. During Ramadan, which occurs in the ninth month of the Islamic calendar, Muslims refrain from consuming food, drinking liquids (and having sexual relations) from dawn until sunrise. Ramadan lasts for 29-30 days.
“It’s a very tough time for these (Afghan) forces,” Allen said, particularly since they were fasting during the heat of the summer and the peak of the fighting season and have been facing combat strains for many years. We believe that the combination of many of these particular factors may have come together during the last several weeks to generate the larger numbers of attacks.”
These remarks bring up a lot of considerations, as we review military strategy for the last 50,000 years. But, since military strategy is as fascinating a topic to this blogger as is the operation of her HVAC system, let’s not. Let’s just bypass all that and cut to the chase. Specifically: Is a hungry soldier capable of harming soldiers who are on his own team? We can only consider this in light of our last diet. The answer is yes. Research into dieting in the immediate vicinity of this blogger has uncovered the following actions: violently slamming the refrigerator door once an hour, snapping at Now Husband and reassessing her choice of spouse, and “inadvertently” stepping on Miracle the Cat’s tail. More than once.
One obvious solution to the hunger=terrorism scenario, would be for a committee of Jewish grandmothers to be mobilized who would drop briskets into enemy territory. Italian grandmothers could follow with baking pans of chicken parm. Vietnamese grandmothers with egg rolls. You get the picture. The result would be a happily food-sedated army who would wish no harm to their fellow soldiers.
And, taking this to its logical extreme (“logical” being whatever this writer decides. This is her blog and she can write whatever the hell she wants to and there is not a goddamn thing you can do about it), the soldiers would not only stop the mayhem within their own community, they would develop warm and fuzzy feelings toward all humanity. Instead of throwing grenades at each other, they would hurl pizzas and Kentucky fried chicken. The end of each day would be marked with a marshmallow roast and singing of Kumbaya.
Maybe terrorists, TSA officials, traffic cops, and the IRS are just hungry and irritable. Think about it. Then send them all a box of assorted Danishes.
Gayane
August 24, 2012
Always thought grandmothers are the answer to our war mongering times. who could resist a sweet face offering up a home cooked meal…..or else get a smack from her for misbehaving…grandmotherly smacks are better than grenades, plus everyone understands them. it~s wars not everyone understands or believes in…..
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 25, 2012
Now that I’m a grandmother, I think the word should revolve around them.
Audrey
August 24, 2012
You’ve definitely got the right idea with this! Goodness knows I turn into a grumpy grizzly bear (I’m 5’1″ so a small grizzly bear, mind you) ready to rend anyone who gets in my way when I’m hungry. The solution is food – how easy! Proof it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out all the world’s problems. 🙂 I like how you think.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 25, 2012
Oooh, I am bonding with you immediately. I am 5’1″ as well. And yes, get out of my way when I have food in my sights.
omawarisan
August 24, 2012
Peace Through Gumbo!
Trust, But Feed.
I’m in.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 25, 2012
I adore the line “Trust, But Feed.” That’s my new motto.
Connie Howard
August 24, 2012
That was yummy.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 25, 2012
Thanks, Connie.
pegoleg
August 24, 2012
Send that blogger a quart of Ben & Jerry’s.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 25, 2012
Yes, please. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Ohmygod, yes.
Emily Cannell
August 24, 2012
And if that doesn`t calm everybody down, Gma can yank a couple of ears.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 25, 2012
Funny!
jotsfromasmallapt
August 24, 2012
If you are not being paid for finding solutions to all our war problems…you should be.
If you are…ask for a raise….
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 25, 2012
I’ve never understood why the world doesn’t consult with me first, before doing anything.
The Byronic Man
August 25, 2012
Also heat. Wars always seem to break out where it’s hot. A global campaign of fans and light, breathable slacks could go a long way.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 25, 2012
You have an outstanding point. I don’t recall that the Eskimos ever waged war on anyone. Except seals.
H.E. ELLIS
August 25, 2012
You’ve just described my house when there’s only one egg roll.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 26, 2012
I’m laughing.
mlleallie
August 25, 2012
Are up for election this fall? Just won my vote! Peace through food, nom
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 26, 2012
Thanks, Allie. So far, no one has had the good sense to sweep me into office without being nominated or campaigning.
Elly Lou
August 25, 2012
Now I want an egg roll. And chicken parm. And brisket. And we should probably throw in some cheesecake, yeah? And…
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 26, 2012
Bring it on. People passed out from gluttony are naturally non-aggressive.
theRipeProject
August 26, 2012
May I sugget a dozen Dunkin’ Donuts. They travel so well.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 26, 2012
I need your secret. I always end up getting sugar all over the steering wheel and crumbs wedged into every available crevice. Including mine.
benzeknees
September 6, 2012
I like your logic!