About a year ago, Frank came into Susan’s life. We will call him Paul for obvious reasons. If any reader doesn’t understand this, he/she is even more intellectually challenged than is this blogger. We’ll also exercise artistic license with Paul’s communications to her.
Susan had a wonderful date with him. The next day, he sent her the following email:
September 2 2011
Dear Susan, I had an amazing date with you last night. Couldn’t have been better. But full disclosure here. Before I met you for dinner, I met another woman for lunch. Her name is Paula. She was everything I have ever wanted, and the feeling was mutual. I think it was love at first sight for both of us. Anyway, I will now be dating Paula exclusively. I thought you should know.
Best, Paul
PS I still keep thinking about our date, and I want you to know that if it weren’t for Paula, you and I would be together now.
December 18 2011
Hi Susan, Just checking in. How is everything with you? Paula and I are still a couple, although I’m starting to feel like she might not be the love of my life, as I had suspected. I wanted you to know, just in case you are still available.
Best, Paul
PS I’m not ready to break up with her yet, so if you are seeing someone, you should just continue for now.
March 10 2012
Dear Susan, I’m not sure what to say. Paula and I are having problems, although she isn’t aware of anything. I’ve met her son now and he is a great kid. But you have a son, also, so Paula doesn’t even have an edge in that department. Yours is a good kid, too, right? I remember your saying that. I’d love to meet him someday.
Fondly, Paul
PS Tell your son I said hi.
August 1 2012 Hi Honey, Just returned from a trip to the mid west with Paula. To visit her son in St. Paul. We went swimming and kayaking in a crystal clear, clean spring fed lake in Wisconsin. Cool.
Tomorrow marks 11 months that we have been dating. She is way more into me than I am into her. I don’t see myself spending the rest of my life with her. Breaking up is hard to do. But I’ve got to set her free. The sooner the better, so she (and I) can move on. I’ll keep you posted.
Paul
PS The problems I am having with Paula (which she still doesn’t know about) haven’t changed my mind about the “love at first sight” thing. It’s just that I made a mistake with her. But I’m thinking that maybe it was you that I was having love at first sight with, but the meals were too close together and I got confused.
Susan is looking forward to further one-way communication with Paul. And, the world being as small as it is (unless one is lost and late for an appointment), she expects that any day now, she will meet a woman named Paula who will tell her all about her one true love who she met online. Susan will then ask her how her son is doing.
Life in the Boomer Lane 
Magnolia Beginnings
August 2, 2012
Is it just me or do you want to find and kill Paul? Haven’t we all had a Paul in our life? The only difference is at 20 I might have listened, now I would just rip him to shreds. : ) Great post!
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
Hey, thanks. And here I thought he was being such a great guy to keep Susan in the loop.
Audubon Ron
August 2, 2012
Count me in the group of the intellectually challenged – but, I think you already knew that, like before you wrote this.
Dear Raquel Welch,
May I call you Raquel? What went wrong? I mailed you a letter in 1971 and haven’t heard from you. Surely you’ve had time to return the letter. I’ve waited by the mail box all these years. Sorry, but I got married – twice. But, if you think you might could pull it off, I could still see my way to dropping everything and rushing to your side.
Can you send me another One Million Years B.C. poster, I wore mine out.
Thanks.
Audubon Ron
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
I’m actually shocked that she didn’t respond.
Hippie Cahier
August 2, 2012
Ron — Maybe you should have signed off with “Fondly”. I really started rooting for Paul when he did that.
Best,
Hipster
cindyricksgers
August 2, 2012
Men! I give up.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
No! No! It’s way too much fun.
Irene
August 2, 2012
Would love to be a fly on the wall when encounter happens!
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
Ditto.
The Diva (@TheDivaofDating)
August 2, 2012
Love it. Really, he got confused because they had dates too close together! Sadly, while this is wonderful ‘fiction’ it is all too true. Had a near miss very similar to this last month. When he writes to tell me he thinks the other woman is a better match (mind you, on our date and goodnight kiss-the one hour goodnight kiss-he didn’t seem like an about-to-be-committed man) , he also says that his ex-wife (his dating mentor!!!!) thinks he might be wrong!
BABYBOOMER johanna van zanten
August 2, 2012
Talk about playing the field. This post is so true and I wrote about it as well. Several of my short stories are about the dating game and I have to conclude that it’s just no match:men and women have different games, or maybe, one plays for keeps and the other one plays the game, or is that too cynical a view?
Great post.
Johanna van
babyboomerwrites.com
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 4, 2012
Thanks, Johanna. All the credit goes to Susan and her guys. I think it’s tough not to by cynical, after playing the game for awhile. But I always say there are great guys out there. I found one, and other women I know have done so as well.
speaker7
August 2, 2012
He sounds like a catch and a half.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
So if you had to choose between Paul and Christian, how long would it take you to run away?
mimijk
August 2, 2012
Dear Paul,
So not sorry to hear about your 11 months of ambivalence. I can’t even imagine how hard this charade has been on you, so in fairness to us both I won’t even try. I would be remiss though if I didn’t share with you that my interest in you waned after our first hello and has continued its steady decline. I hope you re-consider your relationship with Paula – you too really sound perfect together. Susan.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
I hope Susan reads this and does a copy/paste/send.
theRipeProject
August 2, 2012
First of all – my co-workers just asked why I was laughing like an idiot. I have referred them here. Second, when did you put a camera in my brain? Somehow, through “Paul” you illustrated the bizzare logic that prompted me to write an email to the man I’ve been seeing for 11 months (I know!)
While he’s Bob, not Susan and no one calls me Paul – the connection is undeniable. Who needs a therapist when I can just read you! Very, very funny an well observed.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
Hey, thanks, RP. I am pretty good at connecting with the idiot inside of people. It’s the rest I have a problem with. Now I need to hear YOUR story.
theRipeProject
August 13, 2012
Well, perhaps it’s easiest to just direct you here, if I may…
http://www.ripeproject.com
pegoleg
August 2, 2012
Before I can possibly comment, I must know how much of this is real. Because you CAN make this shiz up (especially you, WonderWomanWithWords), but reality can be even more so, so….yeah.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
Peg, Peg, peg. I am like a creative chef with events, instead of food. Only no one is paying me to do anything and no one cares what I do and no one will ever write a recipe book of the things I produce. Susan is real. Paul is real. Email #4 is real. The rest is my made of emails that were true to the events Susan told me.
Shelley
August 2, 2012
Am I the only one that wants to know what Susan wrote in response?
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
She says she can’t remember but we know that’s a ruse.
suburbansusan
August 2, 2012
Dear All Renee’s bloggers: This is Susan. Yes, the real Susan and I’m here to tell you that this man is NOT fiction. And, in the spirit of full disclosure, Renee wrote that we had dinner, but we only had “drinks” and did a crossword puzzle at a bar in a local hotel. The most recent email he sent me is real. Renee created the other emails, but they are true to the nature of the correspondence, if not the exact words. Trust me, no one could make up these stories … even Renee with her wonderful imagination … As for what I wrote to him in response — ”Dear Paul, I’m sitting here waiting patiently but I regret to inform you that I don’t look like what I did when you first met me because my hair has turned gray and I’ve shrunk about 2 inches.”
Barney
August 2, 2012
Made up or true, this is a great metaphor for our currently harried way of life. Great post!
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
Thanks, Barney!
mylifeisthebestlife
August 2, 2012
Paul sounds dreamy! There’s something about bizarro semi-stalkers that really rings my bell!
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
I see you are a woman with unique taste.
Betty Londergan
August 2, 2012
I love Susan so much — what a nutjob-magnet! The funniest thing is that the guy obviously thinks he still has a chance with her…. nothing like covering ALL your bases. I think I’m going to have to be nicer to my husband and stay married. It’s too weird out there!!
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
Truly. Susan’s job in life is to make all of us appreciate the men we have.
lexy3587
August 2, 2012
“Hey, I just met you… I might be crazy! you’re not quite what I want… backburner maybe?. It’s been 11 months, and yes I’m crazy… things might not be working out, I’ll keep you posted, baby!”
He sounds like a keeper 😛
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
His enthusiasm and delusion continues to impress.
Hippie Cahier
August 2, 2012
Thus underscoring the oft-overlooked importance of cleansing one’s palate between lunch and dinner dates.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
Hilarious.
Julia
August 2, 2012
So who did he have breakfast with, and is she still in the loop? What a winner this guy is.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 2, 2012
Apparantly, he would agree with you.
The Byronic Man
August 4, 2012
Oh the “back burner.” Good God. I had a former student who was in love with this guy all 4 years of high school. Senior year, he asked a girl to prom and she said no. Prom was getting close, and he still didn’t have a date. So then he asked this girl.
She said no. She said she wouldn’t be his “safety” and that she’d rather not go than be a last choice. She passed up prom with her 4-year high school crush rather than compromise her dignity.
I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of a student than I was at that moment.
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 4, 2012
I’m standing up and cheering for her.
John
August 5, 2012
And they say men aren’t good communicators.
Sienna (@datingseniormen)
August 6, 2012
Aw, Jeez — this guy is such a wonderfully honest human being. What’s the PROB!?!?
Rantypants
August 9, 2012
This blog is absolutely wonderful! I’m laughing a bit to hard reading everything you write, keep up the good work!
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 13, 2012
Thanks for visiting Life in the Boomer Lane, where reality takes off running and leaves me behind.
ladye
August 18, 2012
This is too bizarre not to be true. Thanks for the laugh!
Life in the Boomer Lane
August 19, 2012
You are welcome. As long as Susan provides material, I’ll happily pass it on!